Expand Your Fempire Podcast #117 Transcript

Gifts to Give Yourself Right Now, Revisited

Welcome to Expand your Fempire with Caterina Rando, the podcast for women in business on a mission. Sharing ideas to support you to grow and thrive. Now here’s your host, Caterina Rando.

[00:00:24] Caterina Rando: Welcome back to another episode of the Expand Your Fempire Podcast. I’m your host Caterina Rando and I am blissing to be with you today. I record this episode during the holiday season. And what do we do during the holidays? We give a lot of gifts. And that’s a good thing, I’m not anti-gifts, I am very pro gifts. I love gifts.

[00:00:52] Gifts, as you know, are one of the five love languages. I invite you to be a polyglot and speak all five of those love languages in your business. Quality time, acts of service, gifts, physical touch, and of course my favorite: words of appreciation and acknowledgement. None of that though is what we’re talking about today.

[00:01:20] Today, I want to discuss with you: what are the gifts that you want to give yourself in your business? In fact, I have put together a list of the gifts that I have given myself that I have seen have made a huge difference in the lives of so many women when they embrace these gifts.

[00:01:51] And as we spend our time together on this episode, and you hear about these different gifts, I invite you to ask yourself: which of these do you want to give yourself more of? Which of these gifts have you not given yourself or have not given yourself in a long time? And what are the gifts that we’re discussing here that can significantly uplift your business and your life?

[00:02:26] First one: determination. This is a business skill that I have been talking about only for the last couple of years. The reason is because I have seen how significant it is during this pandemic. I have seen this skill separate those that are committed to their business “cento per cento”, 100% from those that are looking or have been looking or are ready to find an excuse to throw in the towel.

[00:03:05] Choose the path you are on. Now you have chosen to have your own business. You may not love every aspect of it. Guess what? Most of us don’t. The more we do it, the better we get and the more we’re able to only do those things that light us up.

[00:03:26] One of my amazing clients, she is a spiritual mentor and she’s a coach for families in the area of spirituality. She said it wasn’t a business owner that she wanted to be. It was simply her passion for uplifting families and bringing her unique brand of spirituality forward that wouldn’t leave her alone. And in order to do that and to be of service, she had to start a business. I’m sharing this with you because even though it was her service, she was interested in, she still chose and went all in with being a businesswoman.

[00:04:14] One of the things the pandemic has showed us is who is willing to take action, even when they don’t know what the outcome is going to be. Who is willing to take action even when they might not look good.

[00:04:32] Determination is what fuels you asking yourself the right questions. Not “can I make it? Can I grow? Can I thrive?” You ask yourself a better question. You ask yourself “how can I grow my business? How can I be of service?”

[00:04:56] Some of my clients had on-the-ground businesses, a hundred percent live and in person. Image consultants who went to your house, personal trainers, you went to the gym. They had to all stop that during the pandemic. Did they stop their business? Did they hang in the towel? No. Why? Because of their determination. Image consultants, providing image consulting via zoom, having people carry their laptops into their closet to show their clothes. That’s awesome!

[00:05:33] Where can you use more determination in your business?

[00:05:38] The one place I want to encourage you to look as you begin is how are you managing your disappointment? Are you managing your disappointment? This is another gift on its own, and also it comes here under determination.

[00:05:54] Because you have to take every “disappointment du jour”, every client that you’re expecting to come in that goes MIA, every opportunity that you thought was going to be yours, that dissipates… that’s okay my friend. You’ve got to take that disappointment, infuse it with your vision, with your massive value, and turn it into determination.

[00:06:24] Determination is key to your business success. That’s a gift I want you to give yourself.

[00:06:34] Next one. Give yourself the gift of certainty. Certainty is the knowledge that you have massive value to bring. How do you know you have massive value to bring? Well, hopefully, you’re paying attention to all your clients that are getting great results, that are getting transformation.

[00:06:56] By the way, what’s the difference? To me, the difference is results are things we can see. Someone loses 10 pounds. They make more money. They are improving their style as they walk out the door. Those are results.

[00:07:12] Transformation is when they start to see themselves differently. They see themselves as more confident. They have more clarity. They have more commitment. They have more peace.

[00:07:25] I want you to have peace in knowing that you have massive value to bring that’s what certainty is.

[00:07:34] Debbie, one of my fabulous clients, she’s a life coach. She said “you know, Caterina. I had an a-ha moment.” She’s done our Thrive at Sales 9-week Accelerator. She said “you know Caterina, I heard you say it a thousand times: selling is service, selling is service. But then one day I was on the phone with someone and we were talking and it hit me. ‘Hey, I’m here to help. Hey, my business is making a difference for people. Hey, I’m here to serve.'”

[00:08:09] And that is certainty, when you realize you are making a difference. Do you realize that? Do you have 100% certainty that you have massive value to bring?

[00:08:23] I am hoping so, because if you do, then everything is easier. Decision-making is easier. Picking up the phone is easier. Being willing to be uncomfortable is easier when you have certainty.

[00:08:41] Next gift: authenticity. One of the biggest gifts we can give ourself in business is being our authentic self. Your business is your artist canvas. In my business, I want to create everything I do with love and kindness and growth and fun and philanthropy. When you look at my business, this is what you will see. Why? Because this is me.

[00:09:12] Love and kindness are my religion. I do not value patience. I love color. I consider myself an image enthusiast. I’m someone who is more interested in helping and uplifting and being of service than increasing my profit. I decided, I chose, I’m on this earth to uplift others, especially women. I’ve said to myself many times, if I ever get a tattoo, it will say “uplift.”

[00:09:52] My 89-year-old mom, who is an accessory enthusiast like myself, she recently gave me a catalog. And in the catalog, this company would make these custom earrings in metal with your name. My mom said to me “Caterina, would you like a pair of these earrings?” I said, “of course!” She told me “Caterina, order them yourself and I’ll reimburse you.” Which is fine because you know what? I didn’t purchase these earrings with Caterina on them. I purchased them with the word uplift. That’s my creative solution because I’m not ready for a tattoo. I am ready for another pair of earrings. When you get to know me, when you get to know my business, this is what I know you will see.

[00:10:45] Now let’s shine the spotlight on you. Your entrepreneurial endeavor is your artist canvas. What are you using to create your masterpiece, the masterpiece that is your business? And what do you want people to see when they look at your creative expression? Is it an authentic representation of you?

[00:11:15] And if there’s any place in your business where it’s not, then my friend, take it out, replace it, get rid of it. And this is important. Because sometimes when you have grown up in an institution or worked in a particular corporation or were told a particular thing about how women are supposed to be, or girls are supposed to be, you may not be being your authentic self.

[00:11:49] Let’s take a look. Take a look because the more you can be, express, enjoy your authentic self in your business, the more you will be blissing. And of course, that attracts your ideal clients and gives you more vitality to do your thing. Let’s take a deep breath.

[00:12:13] Next gift: give yourself the gift of mastery. Now, what is mastery? Mastery is when you do something with ease without a lot of preparation if any. Without a lot of resources. It doesn’t even take a lot of energy. And when you’re doing something that you’re masterful at, guess what? You’re enjoying yourself. You’re blissing.

[00:12:42] Let’s take a look at your business. What are you doing that you don’t seek to master? Stop it. Get some support for that.

[00:12:53] Sometimes women say to me “Caterina, I’m so frustrated trying to get this website done, trying to get this opt-in box together, trying to edit this video.” I say to them “my friend, do you want to be a master editor?” Oh, of course, they say “no.” Well, I say ” what are you doing it for?”

[00:13:13] Look at those things you’re doing in your business that you don’t seek to master and stop, because not only is it stressing you, creating frustration, taking 10 times longer… you’re doing two things when you’re doing things that you don’t seek to master: you’re pushing off your revenue because you’re wasting time with that other stuff. And you’re pushing off your mastery in the areas where you want to be masterful.

…You’re doing two things when you’re doing things that you don’t seek to master: you’re pushing off your revenue because you’re wasting time with that other stuff. And you’re pushing off your mastery in the areas where you want to be masterful. – Caterina Rando

[00:13:42] Every year, give yourself the gift of looking at where in your business and your life is a new place to develop mastery.

[00:13:53] When I was on my trip, not too long ago in Italy, I took a couple of Italian lessons. I do speak Italian. I used to live in Italy. Of course, that was many years ago and I’m not as awesome as I used to be.

[00:14:09] I got to tell you, I had so much fun on our terrace on the grand canal at our Palazzo in Venice, chatting in Italian with these two lovely young Italian teachers. I could practically feel the new neural pathways developing. At the end of the second lesson, I’m not sure how much better my Italian was. What I am sure of is that I was so much more confident speaking the rest of my trip.

[00:14:42] And as a result, I met so many amazing entrepreneurs. Every time I met an entrepreneur, I would start to chat with them. So many amazing people.

[00:14:52] When you are moving towards mastery at something, you are going to be more confident at it. You’re going to have more fun with it. Really look at where are you enjoying your business, enjoying your life. Those are areas to pursue mastery, not all the piddly stuff that you could get some support with that is stressing you in your business or your life.

[00:15:19] Let go. Give yourself the gift of letting go of those things that you don’t like to do that you’re not that great at anyway. I’ve let go of email management. I’ve let go of writing all the copy, the marketing copy. I’ve let go of having to book every appointment myself. And you know what? It’s very freeing.

[00:15:44] Let me ask you right now, my friend: where would you like more ease? Where would you like more support? What are you doing that you don’t want to do? Give yourself the freedom of letting it go, because then you’ll have more energy and brain power and time to pursue what you seek to master.

[00:16:10] Next gift. Give yourself the gift of integrity. We could even say unwavering integrity. I want you to be able to sleep at night.

[00:16:24] There are two things that are often at the root of an integrity challenge. One is money. The other is ego. Ego sometimes takes the form of wanting to look good. Ego sometimes takes the form of wanting to be right, and these things can sometimes challenge someone’s integrity.

[00:16:52] I decided a long time ago, I’m more interested in being in relationship than being right. And also I decided a long time ago based on my family of origin, that money doesn’t matter as much as people. My dad would say to me, “Caterina, if you’ve got a problem you can solve with money, it’s not a problem.”

[00:17:19] Now I know, because I’ve also been in the position of when you don’t have money, it doesn’t feel that. The thing is, you cannot take it with you. Always do the right thing. Always err, on the side of the right thing.

[00:17:35] When we think of integrity, often we think about right and wrong and big decisions like, you know, to not do anything illegal. Yes, of course, that’s integrity.

[00:17:47] You know what else is integrity? Doing what you said you’re going to do, showing up when you said you’re going to show up, and if something happens and you can’t get back to someone when you said you would, acknowledging that you were not able to get back to them.

[00:18:03] I have this lovely woman that I’ve known for many, many years. I like her very much. Don’t really call her a friend. Can’t call her a friend because every time she talks to me, she says, “Caterina, let’s get together.” And I always say, “here, let’s do it this time, let’s do it this date.” She always says she’ll get back to me. She never does. At this point, I haven’t talked to her in a long time because I don’t bother to reach out because her behavior was so consistently without integrity, that that sent a clear message that she’s not reliable. Even if we make a date, she’s not going to show up.

[00:18:44] Reliability as part of integrity. Keeping your agreements is part of integrity. And when you do this, it shows people that they can trust you. It relieves any stress. And of course, you are respecting others and demonstrating your respect, demonstrating you value them.

[00:19:07] One of the things that I have to say here also is starting on time, ending on time. This is integrity. Now I will tell you, I do effort to do this. Whenever I go over, I say to my clients, I say “my apologies that we went over.” Always try to end on time.

[00:19:28] Of course, sometimes it’s a challenge when you have a lot of people sharing. This is why you want to give yourself a little extra time when you’re teaching and always there’s so much value to bring. I used to feel like I was rushing my classes to end at the 60-minute mark. Now I’ve gone to 75 minutes, so I’m not rushing, which is great. However, it’s still a challenge.

[00:19:54] Acknowledge when you don’t get it right. Remember, perfection is not required. What I’m looking for here and recommending here is that you have a standard operating procedure of operating with integrity.

[00:20:07] I have to say, I used to have this coach. A fabulous coach. Brilliant coach. Love her so much. You know what though? Every time I would fly in an airplane to go spend time with her. She would go two hours over. I’m not exaggerating. Two hours over! This created stress because I’m thinking I’m going to miss my plane or I gotta leave early so I don’t miss my plane so I’m going to miss the massive value.

[00:20:38] And then when it was time to renew with her, I didn’t renew. Why? Because this lack of focus on time integrity created enough stress for me, but I was like, I can’t trust that I’m going to be able to get out the door when I need to.

[00:20:57] Look at this for you in your business. Again, perfection is not required. What we’re wanting to avoid though, are the pattern of consistent behavior that is outside of what you have agreed to or what people are expecting.

[00:21:15] Next gift. Give yourself the gift of scheduled thinking and planning time.

[00:21:25] If I said to you that I have listened to the book Think and Grow Rich 500 times, I would not be exaggerating. There was a time I listened to that book constantly. That book and every other book you’ve read or listened to has talked to you about the importance of thinking and planning time.

[00:21:51] I often talk about the importance of thinking and planning time. However, many entrepreneurs intend to think and plan. They don’t schedule it though. Your calendar is one of your biggest, most important strategic tools. Don’t simply intend to think and plan. Put it on your calendar.

[00:22:16] In fact, calendaring is an important part of thinking and planning. When are you going to do what? Do you have time to do what you intend to do? When you are setting a deadline for a project, looking at your calendar to identify time to complete that project.

[00:22:36] Schedule time. Don’t just take time, schedule time today to plan for the next day. Schedule time at the end of the week to plan for the next week. Schedule time at the end of the month to plan for the next month. Schedule time at the end of the quarter to plan for the next quarter. And of course, schedule time at the end of the year to plan for the next year.

[00:23:04] And let’s talk about planning in terms of your quarterly, your monthly, your annual planning. It doesn’t happen in an afternoon. It doesn’t happen in a day. First, you make decisions. Those form your goals. Then you have to take your goals and you have to turn them into action plans. Then you have to take your actions on your action plans and you have to put them on your calendar. Or better yet, you look at who’s responsible for what actions and you delegate those actions. Then you have to make sure everybody’s got time for everything. And that’s where your calendar comes in. Calendaring is a big part of thinking and planning.

[00:23:50] Two things I’d like you to do. First, put as a daily success practice at the end of the day for the next day, before you shut down your time in the office. Make a consistent time. One of the things we know about consistency is it increases productivity.

[00:24:09] Look at when you can be consistent with your thinking and planning time, because what this does and why this is such an important gift, is the more savvy and consistent you get at your thinking and planning, the more you’re going to be proactive versus reactive in your business. And that is going to result in more blissing in your business.

[00:24:33] Time for reflection is part of this. You have a challenge or a question or a decision to make in your business, go for a walk, ideally out in nature. Because what that does is when you walk, it actually uses both sides of your brain. Isn’t that awesome? Walking is a great tool for your thinking and planning and dreaming.

[00:24:54] Right now I want to invite you to either go to your calendar and schedule a consistent time, or put on your calendar a to-do, to schedule your thinking and planning time. I promise you this will uplift your life and your business. Give yourself the gift of thinking and planning.

[00:25:13] Next gift I want you to give yourself, I encourage you to give yourself, I implore you to give yourself, is the gift of more support in your business and your life.

[00:25:27] Successful businesswomen, blissing businesswomen see support as smart, as savvy, not as spoiling or selfish. That’s ridiculous. You are the CEO of your Fempire. You got five jobs. Five! Speaking, selling, serving, strategy, and self-care. Now you may have people helping you with the selling. You may even have people helping you with the serving. But you’re in there and you need time for all of that.

[00:26:05] I’m asking you right now. Not only do you have support, do you have ongoing structured support for your physical self-care? Like your massage therapist or maybe a trainer. Right now I’m going to a physical therapist. Anything physical: a doctor, chiropractor, anything related to your body, a dietician. What do you need?

[00:26:29] Do you have support for your emotional self-care? Not once every blue moon. Consistent. That could be getting together with friends. That could be counseling or therapy or a support group. I’m not saying as needed, I’m saying consistent. Because when it’s consistent, there’s less needed. You’re going to enjoy it more. Your stress is going to be consistently lower because you’re not stress managing when you’re having a breakdown, your stress managing on an ongoing basis.

[00:27:08] By the way, this is where I want to say that a good night’s sleep is your elixir of a good life. It sets you up for success in so many ways. It’s so good for your body. I want to make sure that your sleep care is awesome.

[00:27:25] And this is a real challenge these days, because we have so many screens all day long. Cut out the screens two hours before you go to bed. Get the blue light glasses. Also no screens in the bedroom. These are things that will support you in getting a good night’s sleep.

[00:27:44] One of the things that I want to encourage you to do to support your brain is to have something new that you’re learning. I told you, I’m working on my Italian. This is great for your brain. What are you working on that’s good for your brain to keep your brain healthy and support your brain health?

[00:28:01] And of course, where can you use more support in your business? Where can use more support in your home? And can you use more time for connection? Connection with your partner. Connection with your friends. Connection is huge support. Do you have enough of it? I’m asking you right now to take a look. Give yourself the gift of more support in your business and your life.

[00:28:31] As I’m getting ready for this podcast, the list of gifts I want you to give yourself got very long. We’ll have to discuss it more another time.

[00:28:42] Here’s the last gift on today’s list. I invite you to give yourself the gift of bliss in your business. What would blissing in your business look like to you?

[00:28:58] I’ll tell you what bliss in my business has been for me: infusing adventure with our retreats, having my business be successful enough that I can go on a trip. Blissing in my business is when we’ve been able to raise money and donate so much money to our charities. That makes me bliss.

[00:29:22] Bliss is having time to talk to my clients when they’re having a challenge and there’s no pre-scheduled time. Blissing is taking an afternoon off when I can to take a walk in nature or go to a cafe and have a cafe mocha.

[00:29:44] Bliss is getting away to someone else’s retreat or conference or event to shine the spotlight on my business and be with amazing other women on a mission that I didn’t know before today. What does blissing in your business look like to you?

[00:30:04] One of the things that will support you to bliss in your business more is listening to yourself. Listening to your inner knowing about what the right answer is.

[00:30:17] Noticing when something feels like a should and not a desire. “You should go to that conference. You should go to that meeting. You should meet with that person.” But if you don’t want to, my friend, you don’t have to.

[00:30:32] It’s your business. You get to do it any way you want. And the more you do what you want, the way you want, and serve the people you feel called to serve and not who you should be serving, the more you will be blissing in your business.

[00:30:54] Right now, I want you to reflect: what would bring you more bliss in your business? Because, my fabulous friend, who I may have met or may not have met, you and your business deserve it.

[00:31:10] Let me remind you of the gifts I invite you to give yourself:

[00:31:15] determination,

[00:31:17] certainty,

[00:31:19] authenticity,

[00:31:22] mastery,

[00:31:24] integrity,

[00:31:26] scheduled thinking and planning time,

[00:31:30] more support in your business and your life, and of course,

[00:31:37] give yourself the gift of bliss.

[00:31:40] You have massive value to bring. There is a lifetime supply of people for you to serve with your amazing business. I invite you to give yourself these gifts because when you give yourself these gifts, you will enjoy doing your business more. You will have more vitality for your business. Your business will be more efficient. And all of this will help you fill your mission much more.

[00:32:13] This is Caterina Rando sending you some love. Call on me anytime, for any reason. Join me and the amazing women in our Thriving Women in Business Community. Join our Facebook group. Come to one of my upcoming workshops or summits. Join us for one of our amazing retreats. Step into a phenomenal community of like-minded, like-hearted women on a mission, just like you.

[00:32:45] Can’t wait to be with you again on the next episode of Expand Your Fempire.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Expand Your Fempire with Caterina Rando.