Expand Your Fempire Podcast #136 Transcript

Being Bold with Tracie Root

Welcome to Expand your Fempire with Caterina Rando, the podcast for women in business on a mission. Sharing ideas to support you to grow and thrive. Now here’s your host, Caterina Rando.

00:00:25] Caterina Rando: Bing, bing, bing! Welcome back to another episode of the Expand Your Fempire Podcast! I’m your host, Caterina Rando, and I am super blissing to be with you today because we have a very special guest, and a big friend of thriving women in business, Tracie Root, Tracie is a “be bold in your life and business” coach for women.

[00:00:56] Tracie, I am so happy to have you with us today. Bing, bing, bing,

[00:00:59] Tracie Root: bing, bing, bing. I’m so excited too, we’ve been talking about doing this for a long time, so I’m thrilled that we’re finally here,

[00:01:05] Caterina Rando: Tracie, before we get into some key strategies on how to be more bold, I want to hear about a little bit about you, about your entrepreneurial journey.

[00:01:16] Tracie Root: Yes. Well, I’ve been coaching for over 11 years now, which is really kind of hard to believe. And, you know, it started because I was working in the corporate world. I sat in the cubicle. In fact, I was the person who built the cubicle. Well, hired the guys to build the cubicles and I was good at my job and I got paid well and things got really boring around 2008- 2010, right?

[00:01:47] The economy wasn’t doing so great and the fun projects started to dwindle. That wasn’t really why I left corporate though, because the reason why I left is I had had two kids. My kids were preschoolers, toddlers. And after my second child was born, my husband at the time had been diagnosed with cancer.

[00:02:11] So we went through several years of him learning how to navigate all his treatments and everything he had to do to try to be well. I also had two children during that time, had to figure out how to become a mom. I was still working full-time. And the plan was that he was going to be the stay-at-home dad.

[00:02:34] Well, unfortunately, by the time the kids were one and a half and four years old, he passed away and I hung out in that grief period for a year, a little over a year and finally started to recognize that If my life was going to shine again at all, if we were going to have a good time and enjoy life again, that I was going to need to start looking at making some changes because I was exhausted as any parent of toddlers can imagine.

[00:03:09] But I also had been through all of this traumatic experience and was doing it all by myself with no family, really not very many friends nearby. So it was very, very hard.

[00:03:20] I decided that the way to start making changes was to start with myself. It’s a good idea. And I knew that if I paid a little more attention to my self-care, to how I was managing my own health, my weight, again, I’d had two babies and certainly wasn’t worrying about that.

[00:03:40] That if I started to make some adjustments, I would have more energy and I would feel better. And then I could maybe find out what the next step could be.

[00:03:49] So I found a health coach, who helped me to get healthier physically, but also helped me to start learning about personal and professional development.

[00:03:59] I started listening to people like Matthew Kelly and John Maxwell and all of those amazing authors that were really big, especially back in the 2010 timeframe. It was big in my world anyway. And being able to start down that path of learning from other people’s experiences and other people’s perspectives really got me thinking about, you know, how did I want to show up in the world to my family and friends, to my coworkers, to my kids?

[00:04:31] Caterina Rando: So you had a health coach. She helped you with your self-care. She helped you get more into personal and professional development, but you made the leap from corporate gal to entrepreneur. How was that for you?

[00:04:49] Tracie Root: Well, so when I decided to leave corporate and took that, the, those learnings to internally and said, how do I want the next however many years to look like?

[00:04:58] I don’t think I want to sit at this desk anymore. And I basically said, “I’m going to do something different. I’m going to leave this job and I’m going to start coaching myself just as I had been coached.” And it was interesting because I didn’t have any fear of making that change in that, like, I probably left sooner than I should have, you know, all of those kinds of, oh, be ready to leave your corporate job. I just knew that it was time for me to go and so I went.  

[00:05:30] What I had to learn, though, was how to work for myself. The, the no boss thing, right? You’re being your own boss, creating your plan for the day and the week and the month and your goals and all of the things that being an entrepreneur requires of you. I had never done that before.

[00:05:50] So my mentor at the time says to me, “I’m going to treat you like my employee and tell you what to do and and give you tasks. Because clearly you are still figuring this whole thing out.”

[00:06:02] And I realized so much later that that was the exact opposite really of what I needed, that I needed to learn how to be an entrepreneur, not continue that employee collection of habits.

[00:06:17] So that was a big challenge. And it took me probably two good years before I really felt like I kind of knew what I was doing in that capacity.

[00:06:27] Caterina Rando: My friend, that’s not that long, two years. I mean, I feel like the first 10 years I was…

[00:06:33] Tracie Root: well, and I’m still figuring it out. I mean, we figure new stuff out every day, but before, you know, by two years, I mean, I had left California, had come back to California, had gotten so many things happened in those first two years that I think at that point I could say, you know what, this is what I’m doing. I actually had left California and moved back and of course when I moved back my old bosses, my old clients are calling me “hey will you come and do this project?”

[00:06:59] “Are you sure you don’t want to come back?” And I said, “no, I do not want to come back. I am not commuting. I am not going to be an employee of anyone if I can avoid it ever again, because the benefits of Being able to make my own decisions just really suit me.”

[00:07:18] It was right around then where I was just like, ” I’m going to be able to succeed. I can’t see the future. I can’t really know what to expect, but I know that I will make it happen.”

[00:07:30] Caterina Rando: That’s great. That’s confidence in yourself. That’s belief in yourself. Tracie, how did you get to the place where you decided that you wanted to help women be more bold in their life and their business?

[00:07:45] Tracie Root: Well, I love this story because it includes you. Bold, you know, the bold part is all related to the growth over all of these years. I had a client When I was in corporate, probably halfway through that 17-year stint that I worked in that capacity. And that client actually had been a former employee of mine. So I had trained him and then he ended up leaving and working for another company. And then that company hired my company. So it’s very convoluted way to say I had trained him and now he was my boss.

[00:08:24] So one day I was on the phone and I was talking with a vendor and I was very animated, probably had my headset on, talking with my hands as I am tending to do. And at the end of that conversation, he, the boss guy, client guy came over and told me that I was too loud, that I needed to be more quiet.

[00:08:45] And that basically how I was showing up was not okay and was not going to be acceptable in the space. And it was a big, big moment for me where I took a post-it note and I wrote, “be quiet” on that post-it note. And I stuck it to my monitor right in front of me so that whenever I was working with my headset, talking to people, I would see this note.

[00:09:06] Right now, I have something that says “Life wants me to be happy.” Very different note. You gave me that card, too. But you know, it said, “Be quiet.” And it was a physical reminder that showed me that the way I needed to show up in the corporate world was kind of a performance every day. That I needed to pretend that I was this kind of quiet you know, like this quiet kind of demure personality where that’s not really who I am at my core. I tend to be bold.

[00:09:39] That stayed with me for a while through corporate as I learned how to be more professional, you know, that was part of it. I did need to show up in a professional manner with these clients, but what I didn’t need to be was less than what I was. So that was a big piece of it.

[00:09:56] And then the bold came from being on the speaker mastermind cruise with you five years ago. And at the end, we were on the ship for seven days or something like that.

[00:10:08] And at the end, we were all in the room. And you gave us stickers and a sharpie and said, “You have all your to-do’s and all these things you’re going to do when you leave the ship, but how are you going to be different? Not what you’re going to do different, but what are you going to be different?”

[00:10:24] And the word that came to my mind was bold. I wrote it in big capital letters on my sticker and I stuck it on my chest and everyone was a little surprised. Because I did show up in a larger way at that point. I am also six feet tall and my hair was purple, but at the same time I was learning still how to use my voice, how to stand up in front of a room, how to make offers, how to tell my stories.

[00:10:51] The way that I needed to be bold, I told everyone, was not what they saw, but it was what I was on the inside to recognize that the need was to be unashamedly myself and to own that and my own worthiness as I stand up there in front of the room or talk with potential clients and offer them my services or whatever the, the need for being bold may show up as in a given day.

[00:11:25] Sometimes that’s showing up in public in defense of my children or other things, you know, being who you are and standing up for what’s important to you, whether it’s in life or in business.

[00:11:37] Caterina Rando: As you’re sharing about this Tracie, your story of with the boss and choosing to be bold. I’m thinking of authenticity, the boldness of authenticity, because being ourselves in the world, in our lives, in places we find ourselves can be bold. What are your thoughts?

[00:12:10] Tracie Root: 100 percent agree. You know, think about, think about going to a networking meeting, right? A lot of the people listening to this podcast are women in business, you’re going to a networking meeting, whether it’s in person or on Zoom, doesn’t matter, it’s all still a meeting and you’re in a room, whether it’s physical or digital.

[00:12:29] And what do we do to prepare for that? We put on our makeup and make sure our hair is done. And, you know, we do those things for ourselves because we see ourselves on camera in the mirror.

[00:12:41] We want to feel confident about how we’re showing up. But we also do it to give off an impression. And that impression is one that hopefully aligns with who we are in that moment.

[00:12:56] If it’s in business, what are we selling? What do we do? What services do we offer? What clients are we looking for? If it’s personal, you know, maybe we’re going to the PTA meeting. Who do you want to show up? Like as in that mom, in that meeting, right? Sometimes it’s quieter and you don’t want to volunteer for things. And sometimes you want to kind of take charge.

[00:13:15] But what it all comes down to is you get to decide how you show up. And that’s important because when others tell you how to show up and try to tell you that you need to diminish yourself and you believe them, then you’re no longer making those decisions for yourself.

[00:13:37] There’s a big thing in the news right now about some famous guy giving his girlfriend like these quote boundaries that he says are his boundaries of how she needs to be in order to be with him. And so there’s lots of, you know like using therapy speak as they said like this guy is like weaponizing this conversation against her so that she thinks that it’s boundaries that she’s over crossing, but really he’s trying to control her. So when other people are telling us that we need to be a certain way, that’s other people inserting their control over us. And I don’t know about you, but that’s not something I’m interested in, in being a part of.

[00:14:25] Caterina Rando: And that’s part of the power of entrepreneurship, you know, I mean, I like to say that, your people will show up when you’re your authentic self.

[00:14:33] And when you’re your authentic self, some people will not resonate with you and they won’t vibe with you. And that’s okay because there’s a lifetime supply of people to serve. And don’t we want to be ourselves in our service, right?

[00:14:51] Tracie Root: Yeah, I was in a group last week of people that are kind of new to me and there were so many people talking, afraid to do sales and, and in their way of showing up, even in this meeting was very scripted and prescribed in advance.

[00:15:07] Because they’re so concerned about “how do you do that? Because I’m always afraid that X, Y, and Z” is the words that come out of their mouth. It’s like, well, so if you’re afraid of people thinking that you are salesy or pushy or whatever, it’s like, well, are you, are you pushy? Don’t be pushy.

[00:15:26] If you’re not pushy, you know if you are or not, and if they think you’re pushy, but you’re not pushing anything, then maybe that person’s just not for you. Maybe there’s just not an alignment for you. I think that’s really important.

[00:15:39] Caterina Rando: Exactly. I said to a couple gals today, you know, we want to be excited when the phone rings to talk to our clients because they’re a great match for us. And we have great rapport with them and we vibe with them.

[00:15:50] You know, I want to say that I, I see this Tracie, I see the scripting, I see the speakers who are reading their speeches, and really they’re not seeing that It is not authentic. It is not the way to be. It is not attractive and alluring. And if we can be willing to simply be ourselves that Tracie, I think, is a bold act.

[00:16:17] What is your thoughts?

[00:16:18] Tracie Root: Yeah, absolutely. It really does come down to that, you know, when I’m teaching. Whether it’s my workshops, or if I’m working with clients about this idea of being bold, I often ask everyone, what does it even mean for you?

[00:16:32] Because of course it means something different for everyone.

[00:16:34] Some people it might be speaking, public speaking. And that’s, I think, in a lot of cases, why people read their things, because they’re so nervous that they can’t remember what to say or they have certain things and I’ve been there, you know.

[00:16:49] Caterina Rando: I think also they’ve been instructed though that they’re supposed to do it a certain way and I think it’s really important to simply make an outline and some must make points and some stories and of course that’s a whole nother topic for another day, right?

[00:17:05] I think what we’re saying, and I, I’m sure we could say it louder and prouder is that being yourself is a bold act.

[00:17:13] Absolutely.

[00:17:14] To embrace your authenticity and be loud and proud about your authenticity

[00:17:19] For the gals in business who are our gals that are listening to this. How else can we help them be more bold in their business and their life? Let’s, let’s look at a couple strategies. Let’s have you share a couple of strategies.

[00:17:37] Tracie Root: Yeah, well, authenticity obviously is kind of one of those core beingness ones. But there’s also areas of kind of the tactical action stuff that requires boldness to pull off to initiate, right?

[00:17:52] The idea of making a plan and sticking to it, even when something’s distracting…

[00:17:57] Caterina Rando: do what works, even when it’s not working.

[00:17:59] Tracie Root: Yeah. Do what works when it’s not working. And if you’ve got the bright idea syndrome, then, you know, maybe you should keep going with what you’ve got before you start this whole new adventure, right?

[00:18:14] That’s a good one too. Also, if you know where you want to go creating that plan so that you know what to do in order to do the things. The goal setting is a big one that a lot of people and, and you know, we all struggle with things now and then regardless of whether or not we believe that they’re the most important thing out there. But goal setting is a big one.

[00:18:40] I think a lot of people don’t set goals, they don’t set accurate goals. They don’t set goals that are strong enough or solid enough or clear enough in order to actually go after them with enough structure and enough confidence that it’s the right path for what they’re trying to accomplish in the big, big picture.

[00:19:03] Caterina Rando: One big problem with goal setting is they make a goal, but they don’t make a plan. And another thing is that people make a goal and they might even make a plan, but then they don’t break it down into little actionable steps on a daily basis. Or they do it for a few days and then, you know, things get in the way and then their goals and their plans are cast aside.

[00:19:28] And that’s the challenge of goals it’s really a daily work to get pretty much every goal that we want for ourselves. And a lot of people confuse goals with dreams, you know. Dreams are nice, but they don’t have a plan attached to them.

[00:19:49] Tracie Root: You know, what I usually tell people is, so dreams is a great word.

[00:19:53] I love the word dreams, but often if you don’t have goals attached to those dreams, then what those dreams are is fantasies. And I think everyone can relate to the idea of a fantasy being something that’s just out there in the world that is kind of amorphous, maybe, or it’s an idea or it’s a feeling. And that’s okay that those exist.

[00:20:17] But if you really want to become the person who lives in that place, you have to pull it back to that next achievable goal. And then maybe that needs to be pulled back to the next achievable goal with the steps to get there. So it’s so multi-layered that people look at the big picture and think that they’re working on that as a goal when actually you have to bring it in a little closer so you can see it.

[00:20:48] If it’s too far away, you can’t see it. I don’t care how good your eyesight is. You have to pull it back to where it’s something that equals a SMART goal. Specific, measurable, achievable, relevant to the dream, and based on time.

[00:21:03] Caterina Rando: You know, I think also, Tracie, that stating certain goals out loud is a bold act.

[00:21:14] Yes.

[00:21:15] And telling people, “Hey, I want this, I want that,” you know, whatever it is in your life. “I want to get married again. I want to lose weight. I want to buy my own home.”

[00:21:28] These are big dreams. That also can be goals. And when you say it out loud, the scariness of that, because then now people know what you want and they might actually ask you about it.

[00:21:45] Tracie Root: Yep. That’s a really good reminder of a story that I have. Here at my desk in my, in my house, I have windows in front of me. That’s why I have good light. And a few years ago, I realized that I had this kind of, Obstacle in my own like self value that was holding me back.

[00:22:04] I have this dream that I was unwilling to tell anyone about. And all of a sudden I decided that I was going to start telling people. Because I realized why I wasn’t getting any closer to it and why it was something that I was kind of ashamed. I was ashamed to have the dream because I thought that I wasn’t worthy to have it.

[00:22:26] So the dream and the dream changes a little bit because it’s dream, not a goal, but the dream is to have a vacation place that has a view of some sort of water. Maybe it’s the ocean. Maybe it’s a lake. It might actually even be the mountains, but it’s probably an ocean or a lake.

[00:22:45] And where I can get my coffee in the morning and go out onto the deck or patio or whatever and sit there and have my coffee and look out on this view and be like, “Okay.”

[00:22:58] That’s my grounding place is that image in my head. And it pops up every now and then in different places that I go.

[00:23:07] We went to Tahoe a couple of years ago. I was on the deck in Tahoe, looking at the trees, having my coffee, right? Grounded. Same thing happened when we were in Mexico earlier this year, looking out at the water off the bow of the ship. Grounded like even though we weren’t on the ground, we were on the water.

[00:23:24] I felt that same peacefulness inside that is comes from me being in that kind of space and environment and energy. So What I did those years ago when I realized that not stating the dream was a big part of why I wasn’t getting any closer to it I said, “Okay, well, it’s because I don’t feel worthy.”

[00:23:49] So what did I do? I took my pen and up here on my window frame in my own handwriting, I have written, “I am worthy of the dreams I dream. The world is waiting for me to show up today.” And it reminds me, yeah, isn’t it great?

[00:24:04] I love it too because if I look up there, I remember that day. I remember what the dream is. I remember the feeling, you know, there’s so much that comes from just a glance here of my own little kind of self-mural of this quote that means a lot to me in here. And so when I say the world needs me to show up, it reminds me to be bold.

[00:24:31] Caterina Rando: I love that Tracie. We’re going to have to have another bold conversation another day for gals that want to be more bold in their business and their life.

[00:24:40] How can they get in touch with you to be more bold?

[00:24:45] Tracie Root: Well, I’m on everything but Twitter. We’ll just put it that way. Facebook is my main jam, but I’m also on Instagram. I’m also on LinkedIn. Of course, we also have my own website, which is tracieroot.com. And we have The Gather Community which can be found on Facebook and our private group, but also on the web and on Instagram as well.

[00:25:05] You can find me in all the places. And if you go to tracieroot.com/links, You’re going to find opportunities to get some freebies to find things that are coming up in the near future. And all of my connections there.

[00:25:20] We will do that, Tracie, bing, bing, bing. Everybody go be bold. Thank you, Tracie, for being with us today.

[00:25:29] Caterina Rando: And we will pick it up again, my friends with the next episode of our Expand Your Fempire Podcast.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Expand Your Fempire with Caterina Rando.