Expand Your Fempire Podcast #138 Transcript

The Importance of Having Business Girlfriends

Welcome to Expand your Fempire with Caterina Rando, the podcast for women in business on a mission. Sharing ideas to support you to grow and thrive. Now here’s your host, Caterina Rando.

[00:00:00] Caterina Rando: Welcome back to another episode of the Expand Your Fempire Podcast. I’m your host, Caterina Rando, and I am blissing to be with you.

[00:00:37] Before I sat down to do this podcast recording with you, I was with a group of amazing gals on a zoom call. We are a group of gals. We get together virtually once a month. We get together live and in person a couple times a year. Everyone pays their own expenses. There’s no fee to be a part of this group. It’s business girlfriends getting together. What I want to talk to you about in this episode is do you have amazing business girlfriends in your life?

[00:01:18] If you do, we’re going to talk about how to make those relationships even better. If you don’t, or you want more, or the ones you have are not satisfying, guess what? We’re going to talk about how to make them awesome because especially as we get older, business girlfriends become more and more important. Why? Because of course we talk about business, but we also talk about menopause and beauty treatments and our significant relationships or dating or what software to use, what’s happening with AI, we talk about all kinds of hot topics.

[00:02:05] The thing is that when you have women in your life, and I know you absolutely have great relationships, and some of them may have been your friends since childhood, since grade school, since college, and these are significant, amazing relationships, girlfriend relationships in your life.

[00:02:24] The thing is, I’m sure you’ve found that when you are a woman on a mission with a thriving business, your friends who have careers or don’t have careers, they may have a J. O. B. they don’t quite get what entrepreneurship is.

[00:02:43] When we talk about lifestyle entrepreneurship is a lifestyle.

[00:02:51] When you are an entrepreneur, you never get through your to do list. Your mind is always going. Even when you have a huge team, there’s always more to do than you have time for because you probably suffer from brilliant idea syndrome, which is when you have so many brilliant ideas that you want to realize in your business and of course you don’t have time for them all.

[00:03:15] It’s important to have girlfriends that are on a similar track as you that are as motivated as you to achieve their business goals, realize their compelling vision for their business. And girlfriends, like you, that want to use their business for good, that want to be involved in their community and in philanthropic activities through their business.

[00:03:44] Before we talk about how to make them even more amazing, let’s talk about why they are so phenomenal for your life.

[00:03:55] As a thriving woman in business there are times when I’m sure if you’re like me and many of my clients, you feel super alone. Many of us work from home. We can have huge Fempires and we’re working still from home. That may mean, unless you have kids and a spouse or a significant other, you are on your own in your house.

[00:04:25] It’s important, of course, to get out and see the neighborhood throughout the day. And truthfully, that doesn’t necessarily happen every day when you’ve got a full calendar, lots of appointments, and lots of projects to get through.

[00:04:43] During the week, you want to infuse situations in your life that provide you uplift. I want to encourage you to have every conversation you have with everybody throughout the day be an uplifting conversation.

[00:05:00] And you can do that by setting the intention of having it be uplifting. At the same time. There are those relationships and those people in your life that you know, when you talk to them, you will leave that conversation more uplifted than when you showed up. And this is what happens when you have great business girlfriends.

[00:05:21] That uplift is great for your mental health. It’s great for your social brain. It’s great for your heart. And it’s also great for your physical vitality to keep your party moving and get a great night’s sleep and wake up the next day feeling alert, awake, alive, enthusiastic, and rejuvenated. That’s one of the reasons, a significant reason, an important reason why you want to have great business girlfriends.

[00:05:52] Additionally, the power of masterminding is huge. Getting together with a group of your BFF business girlfriends, doesn’t have to be a big group. It could be three of you, four of you, five of you, not too big. And you simply start talking and see where the conversation goes. And it will go all over. As you know, women, we 10 different directions in five minutes, or you can actually sit down and say, “what hot topics do we want to talk about today?” and make a list of any hot topics that anyone’s interested in talking about and see where the conversation goes.

[00:06:35] Last year, I did a retreat for women on how to do retreats. Because I figured if I’m going to teach them how to do retreats, might as well take them on a retreat so they can have a retreat while learning about how to do retreats.

[00:06:50] We had an amazing, amazing time.

[00:06:52] I scheduled on that retreat, a 90 minute session where we started with a list of topics that we wanted to talk about. And we did some masterminding. Now this is a little bit different than a group of gals that have been meeting on an ongoing basis. Some of these gals had never met before they got on the ship.

[00:07:14] Here’s the point. 90 minutes was scheduled for the mastermind… nine hours later, we were still masterminding. We didn’t go to dinner. We ordered room service, a lot of room service. We had a great conversation and nobody wanted to leave because the masterminding session went all over the place, discussing resources, discussing challenges.

[00:07:41] I recently went to a different city to do three days of masterminding with three of my business girlfriends. We did masterminding exactly as I’ve just discussed with you. We also got our nails done. We went to the cheesecake factory. We walked around the city a little bit. We walked around the mall and did some shopping. We got massages. It was a very cup filling, three days. Heavy on the girlfriend- connecting, light on the masterminding and still all of it was extremely valuable.

 If you don’t have this happening on an ongoing basis in your life, as a thriving woman in business as a woman building your Fempire, I want to encourage you to embrace this and shine the spotlight on it because the only thing that will happen is that your life and your business will be uplifted and thrive even more.

[00:08:50] Let’s talk a little bit though about how to do it very well. The first thing is that you don’t want to make a business girlfriend anyone that you wouldn’t make a regular girlfriend.

[00:09:04] What is your criteria for somebody to be your girlfriend? I’ll tell you my criteria. They have to be kind. They have to be positive. They have to live their life with integrity. A Sense of humor is very helpful. That’s for my girlfriends.

[00:09:22] For my business girlfriends, I’m going to add to the list that they are ambitious, that they value personal growth and education, and they are always wanting to do better what they’re already doing well.

[00:09:38] Also, they have to be open to sharing. They have to be generous with who they are and the resources they have and the connections that they have. That they genuinely want to support you in thriving. And of course, you genuinely want to help them.

[00:09:58] The other thing that is important for your business girlfriend relationships is reliability. Of course, everyone has things come up and everyone has big deals that they can’t walk away from in the middle and things often take longer. But what you will find is the people that let something get in the way once usually, not all the time, often are the same people that let everything get in the way all the time.

[00:10:31] There is nothing worse because I know you’ve done it, I’ve done it, we’ve done it, in planning a great evening or a great weekend, really being excited to go and having someone who consistently backs out at the last minute.

[00:10:48] You don’t want that in your regular girlfriends. You don’t want that in people that you’re romantically involved with. And it doesn’t feel good either with your business girlfriends. Reliability is super hot. And I want to encourage you to have that be one of your criteria.

[00:11:07] The other thing is, generally, you don’t want people that are always complaining. Now, that doesn’t mean you don’t get real and get authentic and talk about the truth about Your numbers or your challenges and all of that. Still, though, “hey, this isn’t working, how can you help me?” Is different than always leading with complaints. That is not fun to be with.

[00:11:35] Remember, you want everyone to leave more uplifted than when they showed up.

[00:11:40] Also for your business girlfriends, share the spotlight and share the leadership. For example, in my group of four gals that we meet every month, and we get together a couple times a year, we trade off who’s in charge of facilitating the meetings. We trade off who’s in charge of making any arrangements. We trade off who’s in charge of researching what we’re going to do and when we’re going to be there. The leadership is shared, and any responsibilities for logistics are shared.

[00:12:18] This would be the same if you’re meeting one on one with a girlfriend. As you know, I like to teach sales, authentic sales for women. And sometimes I hear women say,” well, If they wanted to talk to me, they would reach out or they would return my call.”

[00:12:37] And let’s be very clear. It’s our job from a sales perspective to reach out and circle back and follow up and reach out again in order to have someone want to talk to us because people have all kinds of priorities.

[00:12:54] Of course, it feels much better when people reach out to you. Now I’m saying this and I’m mentioning sales here. What I want you to get is we all like to be reached out to from our business girlfriends.

[00:13:10] And a lot of us feel, I will speak for myself that I’m always the one reaching out. It feels great when someone reaches out to me.

[00:13:20] It feels great when my business girlfriends invite me to do something. Now I am always happy to get the ladies together and I do create many opportunities and initiate activities with my business girlfriends, both virtually and live and in person.

[00:13:40] What I want to say, though, is that being the one that initiates the women getting together is really good for you and your business because letting people know that you value their friendship feels great and has them lean in to being your business girlfriend.

[00:14:00] Here’s my point. Don’t be the one that sits on the couch with your arms crossed thinking to yourself or saying out loud, “how come I always have to be the one to initiate? How come nobody initiates with me?” Well, guess what? Be the one that initiates the connection, the activities, the get togethers, the zoom calls, the interactions, because that is good for everybody.

[00:14:31] Now, if somebody doesn’t respond and doesn’t respond and doesn’t respond and doesn’t respond, still don’t take it personal. It is important for them to step up and be engaged in the relationship, just like any relationship.

[00:14:46] I was talking with one of my business girlfriends yesterday, and she said she was letting this out of her life because she feels like She does all the initiating.

[00:14:57] I’m saying initiate, but yes, it has to be that your friends want to engage with you too.

[00:15:03] I said to my business girlfriends that I was chatting with before I sat down to record this episode, I said, “tell me your thoughts on what makes business girlfriend relationships super successful.” And here’s a couple things that they said.

[00:15:23] One of them said, “you know what? I am driven. I am goal focused and I want to be with other women in business that are just as motivated and driven as me.” I agree with that. Pick your business girlfriends carefully because you want them to be more motivated, if not as motivated as you. Nobody that thinks it’s a good idea and wants to maybe give it a try. No, we don’t try. We do.

[00:15:57] Another one of my business girlfriends said consistency. And what that means is that you have a schedule and you consistently get together. Now that could be once a month, once every two months, once a week, twice a month, whatever you all decide together. Yes, do it consistently. Plan out the year, everybody puts the dates on their calendar. Of course you can adjust if you need to, but the idea is you have a consistent something happening.

[00:16:28] Because what we know is that structure from consistency creates more focus and more momentum and that’s what I want for you in your business girlfriend relationships.

[00:16:42] Also, acknowledgement. Taking time to acknowledge each other when you’re together. Making sure everyone feels seen and heard and welcomed, valued, included. Celebrate each other’s wins, celebrate them, celebrate them, celebrate them. This is going to support you to have that uplift happen and support everyone to thrive even more.

[00:17:12] Another thing is this is a little bit more of a sensitive area. I’m going to say it though. You want gal pals, business girlfriends that drink or eat about as much as you. And what I mean by that is if you’re not a drinker, you want gals that are mostly not drinkers.

[00:17:33] And if you like to have a glass of wine every night, dinner out, et cetera, then those are the gals you want to mostly hang out with because it doesn’t usually work when some of you want to be heavy on the beverages and others of you don’t. I’m fortunate, I have an occasional beverage, not much. My gal pals that I do my business girlfriend palling around with are about the same and that really works really, really well.

[00:18:02] I shared with you some of my criteria for my girlfriends and my business girlfriends at the beginning of this podcast. Really what those criterias are, are your values.

[00:18:14] You want to make sure that the values you have are similar to the values that your business girlfriends had and that you all value and make important the group of you all together. And even if it’s a one on one girlfriend relationship. That the relationship is valued and honored and considered important by both parties.

[00:18:41] Many, many years ago, I was involved with a group that taught that anytime someone is coming to your house, you want to treat them like a visiting dignitary. Means your house is clean, you have refreshments for them, you offer them something when they come in, you’re looking great because you’re receiving a visiting dignitary, and you treat them like the super VIP they are.

[00:19:10] Treat all of your girlfriends that way. When you go out the same thing, if you know me, you know, I like a little gift, I think is always nice. Of course, if I was going to someone’s house, I’m always going to bring a gift. It’s not just social etiquette, it’s communicating a genuine caring. It is a gesture of kindness.

[00:19:33] The more gestures of kindness we have in all of our relationships, the better. Amplify that in your business girlfriend relationships. Make your business girlfriends feel special, treat them as the super VIPs in your life that they are.

[00:19:52] All of this connection is going to support you to feel good in your business, to feel support in your business, to feel support in your life. To have a place where you can be bringing any challenges that you want support with, that you can be finding solutions.

[00:20:15] I want to invite you based on our time together to think about all the amazing girlfriend relationships in your life. And the first thing is, have you told them lately how much you value their friendship, how much you appreciate their friendship?

[00:20:31] If not, Run, don’t walk to do that. And then have a conversation with them. “Would you like to meet on a regular basis? Could be once a month, once every two months, live and in person or virtual.” Ask them, do they want to be a part of a group of business girlfriends that are all focused on growing and thriving in business?

[00:20:58] I’m saying this as a business coach. I’m saying this as a business strategist. I’m saying this as a counselor to women in business. Yes, we need our professional support. I always say to women though, “why would you just want to talk to me? Be a part of a community where you’re going to make business girlfriends.”

[00:21:22] That is so much more valuable. And then all of those interactions can create more amazing time together.

[00:21:30] One of the things I want to invite you to do moving forward is to amplify your rewarding business girlfriend relationships in your life. The more you do it, the more you’re going to bliss and thrive in your business and the more your business is going to be successful.

[00:21:50] I’m Caterina Rando. I would love to hear from you. I would love to hear what you’re doing based on our time together today. If you haven’t listened to some of the other over 150 podcast episodes we have, I invite you to do that. I invite you to connect with me on Facebook or LinkedIn. Look at our amazing business development resources at caterinarando.com/links.

[00:22:20] I would love to have you step into our Thriving Women in Business women’s community. Join me for a free upcoming workshop. I’m here to support you to bliss and thrive and make a lot more rewarding business girlfriends and relationships in your life and your business.

[00:22:42] Oh, and one more thing you have massive value to bring. There is a lifetime supply of people to serve. Go out there, be louder and prouder about your massive value. I support you to sell more so you can serve more and uplift more lives with the amazing woman you are.

[00:23:02] Bing, bing, bing, can’t wait to be with you again very soon.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Expand Your Fempire with Caterina Rando.