Expand Your Fempire Podcast #139 Transcript

 Creating the Life You Want to Live after 50
with Suzy Rosenstein

Welcome to Expand your Fempire with Caterina Rando, the podcast for women in business on a mission. Sharing ideas to support you to grow and thrive. Now here’s your host, Caterina Rando.

[00:00:00] Caterina Rando: Welcome back to another episode of the Expand Your Fempire Podcast. I’m your host, Caterina Rando, and I am blissing to be with you today. We have the amazing, fabulous, wonderful Suzy Rosenstein, who is a master coach, a podcaster, a midlife mentor for women. She is my guest today, and we are going to have a very exciting conversation. Hi, Suzy, blissing to have you here.

[00:00:59] Suzy Rosenstein: Caterina, I am super excited to be here with you. I love that we met in the online world, and here we are together again.

[00:01:06] Caterina Rando: Yes, and I know we’re going to meet live and in person too, at some point.

[00:01:10] Suzy Rosenstein: I have a feeling.

[00:01:12] Caterina Rando: Susie, tell me, how do you get to the place where you as a woman on a mission become a midlife mentor?

[00:01:22] Suzy Rosenstein: Well, thank you for asking that. You know, I am going to be 60 in a very short time. And a few years have gone by and the year I turned 50, what happened was I was unceremoniously laid off from a 19 year career, 27 years in health education and health promotion.

[00:01:44] And, you know, I loved my career. I loved my the long term job, but I had been there a long time, 19 years. And for about five of those years, those last years, I was not feeling content. I knew something was off and I had started to think about what I wanted to do. Instead, when I grew up. I didn’t realize how fearful I was. Then I got laid off and I realized that it was the gift I couldn’t give myself.

[00:02:12] I got a coach and she blew my mind. Just ask me questions I didn’t dare think about for all those years. And I thought, you know what I mastered in psychology a million years ago. I always was fascinated by human behavior and interviewing people and listening carefully and looking for patterns and it looked like that made perfect sense.

[00:02:34] So my mind was opened up about what was possible. And the one thing in those five years of being stuck that I realized was that I missed working closely with people. And so it was all of that. It all came together and it just helped me lean in to becoming a life coach. And then I went on for more training. And that’s what happened.

[00:02:57] And then as I became more settled and clear about what it is I wanted and what I was passionate about, it became very obvious that so many other amazing women were stuck with the same stuff and didn’t know really what they really wanted in this life.

[00:03:15] Caterina Rando: Well, I love your journey that you’ve just shared, Suzy, and the other thing that’s really cool is that you took the journey that many of the women that you want to support or do support have taken.

[00:03:30] So many women start a career and then at a certain point, they either are forced out or fired or let go or downsized because they’re of a certain age. Is that your experience?

[00:03:45] Suzy Rosenstein: I actually, I don’t know that it was age. I think it may have been seniority, which is kind of age but I think it had to do with I was low hanging fruit because I had one of the very few part time positions that was well resourced, you know, because I’d been there for a long time. There’d been a lot of organizational change.

[00:04:09] So I think that was it. There were three of us. And, and when I got laid off, I realized I did not want to bump. I did not want to compete for another job in the organization. It was very clear that that part of my life was complete and that this kind of pushed me into a scary territory, but I knew it was what I really wanted.

[00:04:30] I’d been an entrepreneur, the first entrepreneurial gig I had, I was 12 and I’d always been dabbling. And I just really was ready to be curious about that.

[00:04:42] Caterina Rando: I love that. Well, a lot of women, I think, and I, cause I’ve met many of them and I’ve had many of them as clients, they have their career, they’re not asked to leave and they retire.

[00:04:56] And then they start that for a bit. And then they realize, “Hey, I got a lot of years left and there’s not much to this whole retirement thing. I’ve been on vacation. I went to visit the grandkids. Now what am I supposed to do?” And they’re starting businesses.

[00:05:12] We have clients in our community, 70s. I got a client in her eighties starting a business, got another client who’s 78, just getting her party geared up.

[00:05:25] What about the gal, maybe Suzy, who’s never dabbled? She’s never been an entrepreneur, but now she’s retired from her XYZ career and she wants to get something going. What, what is your recommendation for her? And also, what are the concerns you’ve heard from these gals over the years?

[00:05:46] Suzy Rosenstein: Well, the biggest concern is fear and that they don’t understand how much value they have to give back.

[00:05:52] On the other hand, women our age, 50 plus, they really enjoy giving back and being a mentor. Like that role and that ability, because we’re not just older, we’re wiser and, and there’s really a desire to give back in some way.

[00:06:11] The fear comes from a lot of places and of course, it’s different for everybody. For me, it definitely had to do with being- it had to do with age. It had to do with me not keeping up with the younger people or that the younger people would have surpassed me in skill and all that.

[00:06:27] Now, once I got into the entrepreneurial landscape, I was very specifically concerned and fearful of technology.

[00:06:35] And that’s something that comes up. A lot with women, 50 plus and visibility is something that also needs to be really looked at and thought about visibility in terms of putting yourself out there, what that means, what people might think, judgments about appearance, self perception about our changing appearance. All of that stuff.

[00:06:58] So I guess my biggest advice would be to ask yourself the very simple question of why, why is it that you want more? And If money wasn’t in your way or resources or fear, if all those things were not in your way, a lot of time people think, “Oh, my gosh, what would cost me so much to get retrained in that area or something like that.”

[00:07:20] But if none of those obstacles were in your way, and if you won 5 million, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? And I find that that ridiculous question cuts through so much crap. And most of us have an image, some kind of a little picture of what that would mean. And five million dollars to think about it is enough to get you separated from all your excuses just for a few seconds.

[00:07:45] So for me that first question that comes, the first thing that comes to mind is turtle tagging in Costa Rica. Now, does that mean I’m going to be on a boat in Costa Rica, tagging turtles as my career? No, but what it means is something there’s some, there’s a clue there that’s relevant for me.

[00:08:04] And for me, it’s nature. It’s being outside. I love whale watching. It has to do with photography and wildlife and nature. And I need more of that in my life.

[00:08:13] So does that directly relate to a career? Maybe not right away, but it’s just getting used to noticing what you want and noticing what you want more and more will take you step by step in a direction that’s closer to your real passion and what it is you really want to pursue.

[00:08:31] Does that make sense?

[00:08:33] Caterina Rando: That makes sense. And you know, the other thing that you’re making me think of is that so first of all, taking some time for exploration to yes, important. But the other thing you’re making me think of Suzy is that you know one of the things I see with gals who come from institutions or corporate settings is that they’ve been acculturated in those environments to fit in, to follow the corporate structure and have the personality that the corporation expects.

[00:09:08] And you mentioned earlier about visibility and being loud and proud and being a leader. If that wasn’t their role, really, they have to unlearn things and they have to discover who they are today, which is different than that 20 or 30 or 40 year old gal that walked through those doors initially.

[00:09:32] And so I love the idea of adventure. And I like to say to my ladies to amplify those things about you that you like. if you like being a leader, let’s amplify that. If you like speaking, let’s amplify that. And of course you know that I feel that’s the number one visibility thing is to be speaking.

[00:09:56] Suzy Rosenstein: Oh my gosh. You know, that reminds me. Exactly what you’re saying. I had one client years ago. It was early on and she, she liked her job, but she didn’t love her job and she knew she was ready to grow in that capacity.

[00:10:10] She didn’t want a complete change, but she knew she was ready to grow. So we talked a lot about what she liked the best about the job that was okay, not horrible, but just okay. And she said, “I love when I have a chance to speak in front of people at a workshop.” And I said, “well, is that on your LinkedIn at all?”

[00:10:28] And she said, “no, it’s not part of my formal job.” And then she had one of these events coming up. She said, she always gets the most amazing reviews. I said, “make sure somebody takes a picture of you at that event. And let’s include some of the things that are your sweet spot about your career in your LinkedIn profile so that you can get more comfortable owning it and people can see something else that you’re really good at that’s beyond your typical resume.”

[00:10:56] And she did that and it was giant impact in her life, and she ended on taking the next step and the next step and she eventually got a ton of clarity about her plan and she was able to move forward with confidence.

[00:11:09]

[00:11:09] Caterina Rando: That’s wonderful. I love that. I love that these small steps led to some big advancement for her. Bing, bing, bing. That’s what we want.

[00:11:21] Okay, Suzy, we’ve got gals. They’re midlife. They have businesses. Maybe they’re starting to feel, I’m going to call it this: midlife woes. And have you had some gals experiencing this? And what have you done with them? And I will be, for me, I’m going to be kicking and screaming. I’m going to be fighting aging as long as I’m above ground. I like looking youthful. I like to think I look a lot more youthful than I maybe do, but that’s my philosophy.

[00:12:04] Now, what have you had clients go through and how have you addressed that with them?

[00:12:13] Suzy Rosenstein: Well, if they own their own business, like you said, like the entrepreneurial gals, most of them that, that I’m working with, they don’t want a major change in their entrepreneurship. They like what they’re doing. They’re passionate about what they’re doing, but something’s out of alignment.

[00:12:30] And I know personally what that feels like to have something off. And the thing that I’m finding so much is that I know it’s cliche, but it’s the whole work life balance thing. And so there’s a lot of work. And there’s not as much balance. And what balance really means is, you know, when it’s out of balance, there’s a lot of overwhelm and stress because you’re not typically taking care of yourself the way you really want to.

[00:12:56] So the way I like to think about it is, are you the woman that you really want to be? Have you become the woman that you really want to be? And that question also is a bit of a sneak attack to your thoughts about who you really are and how you’re showing up.

[00:13:13] So, are you getting enough rest? Is that something you always imagined you would do? Are you moving your body the way you want to? Are you fueling your body the way you want to? Are you socializing the way you want to? And just really think about all of it.

[00:13:27] And with business, are you planning the way you want to? Do you have a schedule like an ideal day? Do you know what that is? And are you having those ideal days as part of your regular life?

[00:13:40] So those are the kinds of questions that really help. I know the word alignment is very coachy too, but it’s just really like when I think about what I really want and how I want to show up in my life and my business to become that woman, where am I? Am I that woman or am I not that woman?

[00:14:00] Am I taking exceptional care of myself? Am I planning far enough in advance that helps me have a peaceful work existence? You know, those kinds of things and, and those kinds of breakthroughs are life changing because if you start with small changes, making that small change is how you do everything.

[00:14:23] So it’s really taking a small step. Learning as much as you can about yourself. Finding out what you’re thinking. Understanding what you want. And ultimately nurturing your commitment to yourself. Having your own back. Finally putting yourself first. That kind of stuff is what really helps you settle into a more a lifestyle mix with your work that is sustainable.

[00:14:51] Caterina Rando: I think in the earlier years of business, it’s a lot more go, go, go. Pedal to the metal, get the goals. And if you’ve been an entrepreneur for a while, by the time you’re in your fifties, you’re really looking at what do I want, as you’re saying, what do I want my lifestyle to look like? How much money do I really need? Is it important to keep scaling?

[00:15:14] And this whole thing also about planning. Planning is totally different than being in action, right? You’re not in massive action, you’re in massive planning. And that planning really is a skill.

[00:15:28] And this is something that I’ve put a lot of attention on the last few years with our clients in our community, because when you’re a woman of action, which most entrepreneurs are, you tend to just get in action. And taking that time for thinking and planning, calendaring. Calendaring is one of the most important tools we have to support us in our business. It’s really, really important. And yes, thinking about how we want the rest of our life to look like, or even the next five years.

[00:16:02] Suzy Rosenstein: Like here’s a simple thing. And this might, well, I’ll give you two examples. A lot of people, a lot of women used to love reading. You know, we grew up on Scholastic Book Fair.

[00:16:14] We loved going to Scholastic. We loved buying the books. And I have a memory of me in my canopy bed with my frilly canopy, it was yellow and white, and I remember just getting these Scholastic books and just getting so excited about it.

[00:16:28] And over the years. I noticed about myself that I, I wasn’t reading full books anymore. And then in my community, there’s a lot of women that say, “I don’t have time to read.”

[00:16:40] So even just looking at allowing yourself to prioritize time to read, do you think about yourself as a woman who reads? Like it’s a simple question.

[00:16:52] And then another question that I find it’s pretty common is going to the bathroom when you have to go to the bathroom. Are you a woman that allows yourself to go to the bathroom when you have to go to the bathroom?

[00:17:05] I mean, a lot of women, because we pride ourselves on productivity and wear busyness like a badge of honor, sometimes, you know we’re not even eating when we’re hungry, sleeping when we’re tired, doing basic things.

[00:17:19] So are you the kind of woman who, who wants to, you know, be proud of the way you take care of yourself? It’s that basic stuff that can really help you create the work life balance that might feel so elusive.

[00:17:31] Caterina Rando: Well, the thing is, Suzy that if we don’t treat ourselves outstanding, exceptional, nobody else is going to. Being a single person, I also recognize, “hey, if I want flowers in my house, I’m going to buy myself flowers.” Whatever it is I want, I can give it to myself and that’s a really cool thing, right?

[00:17:51] I was in a workshop yesterday and they said, “you know, well, if you get X, Y, Z goal, then you get to have a reward.” and I said to myself, ” I, you know, I just do what I want to do. If I want to go somewhere I, I go” and I think that’s part of the difference maybe between young entrepreneurs and midlife entrepreneurs is that usually we’re having the success that we get to do what we want to do. And maybe we haven’t learned to master some of these self care things younger in life. And now’s the time to do it if we haven’t done it before.

[00:18:28] Suzy Rosenstein: Well that’s the other thing because with aging comes, it’s pretty common to have a time sensitivity that you didn’t have before. That life’s flying by before you know it, five years go by, ten years go by.

[00:18:40] And if you haven’t been keeping your regular doctor appointments and, you know, working on some of the things that you really want to work on all of a sudden, a lot of time has gone by and, and we haven’t done what is often very important for our health, for our well being and for our business. Because it’s a weird thing about time. And then with covid time, it’s really bizarre to like, all of a sudden we have a lot of issues with time more than ever.

[00:19:07] Caterina Rando: Well, Susie, I love chatting with you. You’re so much fun to be with. How can our listeners connect with you? And find out more about you, about your work?

[00:19:20] Suzy Rosenstein: Well, thanks for asking. The best way is to go to my website, suzyrosenstein.com. There’s lots of freebies there. There’s one freebie there called “Top Ten Questions to Help You Reimagine Your Life after 50”. And that is on my website.

[00:19:35] Also, I’ve got a podcast called “Women in the Middle, Loving Your Life After 50.” And it’s a lot of fun there. And I know you’ll be engaged. I’ve got all kinds of guests. And when I have episodes by myself, we’re talking about mindfulness and having more fun and, and just really creating the life you want to live.

[00:19:52] Caterina Rando: That sounds great: creating the life you want to live. My friends, hope you’re getting some massive value from our discussion today with Suzy. Thank you so much for being with us on the Expand Your Fempire Podcast.

[00:20:05] Everybody, if this is your first episode, there’s over a hundred more for you to listen to. We’re here to support you. And I want to remind you, be yourself, do your thing, serve your people. And when you’re doing it right, you’re going to also be massively monetizing your mastery… because you have massive value to bring. Bing, bing, bing.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Expand Your Fempire with Caterina Rando.