Expand Your Fempire Podcast #168 Transcript

Episode #168: Empowering Business Lessons from the Burlesque Stage

Welcome to Expand your Fempire with Caterina Rando, the podcast for women in business on a mission. Sharing ideas to support you to grow and thrive. Now here’s your host, Caterina Rando.

Caterina Rando: Welcome back to another episode of the Expand Your Fempire podcast. I’m your host, Caterina Rando, and I am blissing to be with you today. I am so excited for our topic. We are gonna talk about right now business lessons from burlesque.

I was so fortunate recently to go to one of my client’s shows. Melissa Durfey, she has a burlesque alter ego called Mae D’Lovely, and for her birthday she produced a burlesque show.

I found it very insightful, and captivating, and uplifting, and encouraging, and I decided to pay close attention to how I was [00:01:00] thinking and what I was seeing at the show, and take some ideas for life, and of course, business.

How I found myself at this burlesque show was very simple. I have an important guiding principle as a women entrepreneur coach that I wanna share with you. When women that are your clients or your potential clients invite you to something, show up.

I’m gonna tell you, with 88 clients, I cannot be at everyone’s everything all the time. I do my best, though, to show up when my clients invite me. That’s virtual or live and in person. I go to a lot of my clients’ retreats, because one of the things about teaching women how to do retreats, which I do, is they start doing retreats. I will tell you [00:02:00] right now, this month, I have four clients hosting retreats in Italy just this month. By the way, if you’re excited about a retreat in Italy, I’m hosting my first retreat in Italy next year. Pay attention for that.

I had a client say to me, “Caterina, do you know why I became your client? I became your client because you came to my open house for my business.”

Now, I want you to know this is someone that’s been my client for years. They knew me very well before they invited me to their open house for their business. When they did, I thought, “Yeah, I wanna get to know her better. I wanna support her. I wanna celebrate her. I’m gonna show up.”

Right now, I have just come back from a two-hour meeting with an amazing gal. [00:03:00] She’s a potential client, and we know each other so much more because I invited her to connect with me.

Showing up matters. If you are hiding behind your computer, pumping out social media only, that is not gonna catapult your business.

If you have a service business, which most of you do, know that people hire you when they know, like, and love you and your business.

I wanna give a shout-out to Karrie Mitten, who has also been a client of mine, and I just went to speak at her event, and she said, “Know, love, and trust.” And I thought that was phenomenal because we’ve all heard know, like, and trust.

But you have also heard me [00:04:00] say, “Wear your heart all over your business.” And that’s where I want you to amplify your love even more. Love your clients, love your potential clients, and if you know the five love languages, you know that quality time is one of the five love languages.

And showing up for your clients, showing up for your potential clients, is you expressing your love, your appreciation, your desire to get to know them better. That’s good for you. It’s very good for your business.

Back to burlesque I’m showing up for my client, for her burlesque show. So excited to be there And during the performance, all these different women doing different burlesque acts, it was so amazing. And you know what’s the first thing I noticed? [00:05:00] There were dimples, there was cellulite, there was rolls, there was sags, there was women in their beautiful bodies.

Perfection is not not required.

You’ve heard me say this. The burlesque show underscored that. If you’re waiting until everything is perfect with how you look for your business, if you’re waiting till you lose weight to get new headshots. If you’re waiting until you, get your facial treatments until you do a Zoom, you’re waiting too long.

Perfection is a flaw.

It was so inspiring to see women in their regular, normal bodies dancing around with confidence, strutting their stuff. That [00:06:00] was so empowering and inspiring.

And guess what? You, my friend, are a role model for other women, and when you are being yourself and doing your thing, you are inspiring other women.

But if you’re waiting till you have it all figured out, let’s be very clear. There are two important things that you are pushing off when you’re getting ready to get ready to begin to think about getting going. When you’re researching, you are not moving towards mastery… ’cause let’s be clear, it’s not just about doing stuff… it’s about mastering stuff.

And I wanna tell you, on this burlesque stage, it was clear who are the gals that are newer and who are the gals that have been doing hundreds or maybe thousands of hours on stage. They were way more captivating, way more confident, way more owning their power and strutting their stuff on stage.

And you wanna strut your stuff in your business. You wanna speak with authority. You wanna gain every opportunity. You wanna be loud and proud about your massive value.

When you’re pursuing perfection, you are pushing off all of that mastery, all of that bliss that comes from knowing your stuff.

And the other thing you’re pushing off, my fabulous friend, is you’re pushing off the revenue that comes from being in action.

So that’s the first thing I was reminded of. Perfection’s not required

Later in the show, the burlesque show, all the great gals, [00:08:00] I’m sitting, by the way, in the front row, myself and my friend Alexa and, Jana Marie, who’s one of my VIP clients, and, Erica Gimbel, who’s also one of my VIP clients. We are having a VIP table in the front row, and I am right in front of the stage.

And I see that one of the burlesque dancers has this tattoo on her thigh, it is words written out, and I was looking very closely for a bit to see if I could read exactly what this tattoo said.

And do you know what it said? “Take up space.” Made me bliss when I saw this, because this is a very important reminder for you.

My friend, are you taking up space with your business?

What do I mean by that?

[00:09:00] Well, there’s the actual space of having a website, having a Instagram account, having a LinkedIn account, posting on Facebook, doing virtual Zoom events. All of these things are taking up space.

There’s also when you walk into a room, do you come early and stay late and meet all the people, or do you hang out at the buffet or chat only with the gals that you knew before you got there?

Take up space.

Also, related to burlesque, take the stage. We’ll talk about that next, but before we do that, let me ask you, my fabulous friend, are you taking up enough space?

And let’s talk about some ways that you do that in your business. Hosting events, [00:10:00] virtual or live, allow people to come and be with you and get to know you better.

That is absolutely taking up space.

I just went to a client’s live and in-person workshop. It was phenomenal. There were gals in the room that had not met her before that she personally invited. And let me say this, are you using your virtual events and your live and in-person events as opportunities for people you wanna do business with to get to know you better?

If you’re not, I wanna remind you of that.

And let me remind you even more, what are the four kinds of people that you wanna be inviting to your virtual and live and in-person events?

Of course, your potential clients.

Also, your past clients, so they remember how amazing you are.

Also, your current clients, because they warm up the room for you, and they can rave about you.

And the fourth category is people that have some type of influence that you want to get them to get to know you better. Maybe they could book you for a group to speak. Maybe they have a podcast they could guest you on. Maybe they have a magazine, or maybe they interview people on Facebook or LinkedIn. And the more they get to know you, the more you are gonna get the red carpet when you ask if you can be interviewed, and you’re gonna get the yeses much, much faster.

Now, all of that supports you in taking up space.

The other thing is, I’m gonna sidebar here and ask you, do you absolutely love your personal brand?

Now, personal brand is [00:12:00] absolutely the colors and the messaging and all that. It’s also your physical appearance. Do you love what you wear? Do you love your hair? Do you love your skin? Now, of course, we can always upgrade But are you so happy with your appearance that you never hesitate to show up on camera, in a Zoom room, at an event, live and in person, for an interview?

And, and I’m pausing here to talk about this because so many women are not in love with their appearance. And you have two choices, sweetheart. One is get great with your appearance, ’cause you know what? It’s gonna change, and you’re not gonna be 20. You know, you’re not 20, most likely. Love the body that you’re in, the appearance that you’re having, but also make any upgrades that will help you feel even more phenomenal in your body.

Now, I don’t want you to wait, though. Let’s be very clear. If I was waiting till I was a size 14 before I did anything, I would still be waiting, okay? I would still be waiting.

You have to bliss with who you are now, in the body you have now, and never hesitate to take up space, virtual or live and in person.

At the same time, you wanna look like you are so happy with what you look like, meaning take time to look great so you never feel like, “Oh, I’m looking too schlumpadinka today to turn on my camera.” Because you don’t build relationships when your camera’s not on on Zoom.

And, and I’m gonna tell you, when I was younger in life, going to a social event was, like, microtrauma for me because I wasn’t happy with my appearance. Well, guess what? I probably looked way better then, but now I’m very happy with my appearance.

And when I went to this burlesque show, all the gals in all their sizes, they were blissing in their appearance, in their bodies, and they were taking up space, and they were not hesitating. In fact, they were loud and proud in taking up space. And check in with yourself, my sweet sister. Is that you?

Okay, take a deep breath with me.

Here’s the next thing we’re gonna talk about: always take the stage.

Let me tell you what I mean by this. I went to this burlesque show, as I said. There was an ’80s theme.

Now, to me, when I think of ’80s, I think of Madonna with that video she did where she’s having a lot of black [00:15:00] lace, and she has the gloves with the black lace with the fingers sticking out. That’s what I think about when I think about ’80s attire, and the black lace headband. And so it was ’80s theme, and something you may or may not know about me is I love lace. I have about 10 lace dresses: blue, green, black, red. I love lace.

 And as a result, I got no shortage of stuff that I thought was appropriate to wear to this ’80s themed burlesque show. And for some reason, I did find a pair of those black lace gloves with the fingers sticking out in my house, and so I said, “Okay.” I put a black lace something in my hair. I said, “Okay, I’m on theme,” even though I did not feel like it was that phenomenal of a outfit. But, you know, for the fun, I dressed up a bit for [00:16:00] this.

Go to this event. Apparently, there is a costume contest for who has the best ’80s outfit. Now, I wanna be very clear. I was clear I did not have the best outfit. But you know what? I thought, “Let me get on stage,” because when you’re on stage, do you know what happens? Everybody sees you. You are having visibility. And even though this had nothing to do with business, I figured, “Well, there’s lots of gals in the audience. Let me get on stage so they’ll at least see who I am and hear my name.” Which is what I did.

There were six contestants for the costume contest. Now, I will absolutely say that at least three of them had better, more on-theme outfits than me.

But you know what I had? [00:17:00] Two things going for me.

One, I have stage presence, and I worked the crowd. I looked at the audience. I blew them kisses. I fooled around with my jacket to imply that I might take it off, since it was a burlesque show, and I had a big smile on my face.

The more presence you have, the more people pay attention to you, not just on stage, in a Zoom room, and live and in person. Presence has you be memorable, and it makes a difference.

Here’s the other thing I had that I want you to really hear. I think I won because I had the most friends in the audience. Now, the guiding principle is don’t [00:18:00] have a lot of friends in the audience. Here’s the guiding principle I want you to hear: invite people to go where you are going.

Invite people to go where you’re going. I invited my clients. I invited some potential clients. I invited my friends all to come where this show was happening, where I was gonna be on a Sunday. And I’m sharing this with you because, as I mentioned earlier, my VIP client said, “Hey, thank you for showing up to my open house.” She looked more at working with me, and she became a client.

But you know what happens when you invite people to go where you’re going? They rave about you.

In my early networking years, I was in charge of one of the women’s business groups in San Francisco, [00:19:00] and every month, I would have a full table of guests that I had invited, me and my nine guests.

What happens when they get there? “Oh, who invited you?” They’re talking about you. They are talking about you, and they are raving about you because they don’t know each other that great yet, and you are the common aspect between the two of them, the commonality.

Also, people so appreciate when you invite them to go where you’re going, and it’s also an opportunity for them to get to know you better.

Remember the generosity that comes with an invitation.

And also, you’ve probably heard this, but I’m gonna remind you. They say now that often [00:20:00] people need to spend 17 or more hours with you and or your content before they will even consider being your client.

Now, if you have a podcast, if you’re doing your monthly Zoom workshop that we’ve talked about or event, that’s great because you could build influence with a lot of people all at once.

But More is required to get great results. Right now, when you finish listening to this podcast, unless you are driving, I want you to look at your calendar for the next two months, and I want you to look at where are you going.

Tonight, I’m going to the performance of another one of my clients. Her name’s Allegra. She helps women do their audiobooks, and she’s also a singer, and I’m so [00:21:00] excited to go see her perform tonight. And I’m taking with me one of my potential clients who I think is phenomenal, and I want to deepen that relationship, and we are gonna have a great time.

I didn’t invite all the gals to this one, just one, and that’s fine, too. Look at your calendar and where are you going?

You may or may not know that i’m a member of the Polka Dot Powerhouse community, which is a national community of women. If you are not a Polka Dot, reach out to me. I will tell you all about it, because I love being a Dot, and any time I meet a gal, I invite her to come to the next meeting, virtual or live and in person.

Why? Because I get to deepen my relationship with her by spending more time with her, but also, I’m sharing with her something that will totally uplift her life.[00:22:00]

That’s called good friendship, it’s absolutely generous, and it’s absolutely good strategy for your business. Invite people to go where you’re going as standard operating procedure.

Look at your calendar. What networking events are you going to? What social events are you going to that are open, where you could invite guests? Go for a walk with some gals. Get the gals together to take a hike. Whatever you’re into, invite gals to go where you’re going.

First of all, it will expand your friendships, it will uplift your life, and you will absolutely have more people that know the amazing woman you are, for clients and for referral partners.

My friend, I got a lifetime supply of more value to share with you. But You know what? I’m not sure if you know, my dad is [00:23:00] 94, and I said to him, “Okay, Dad, I’m gonna record my podcast, and then I’m gonna come over and we’re gonna play ping pong.” My dad and I play ping pong five more days a week, and we’re gonna play today.

And you know what we do? We’re not competing. We don’t have a match. Our goal is to beat our rally record. Back and forth is one rally, and would you believe that we’re up to 84 rallies? So I’m gonna go see my dad. I’m gonna see if we’ll break that.

Before you go, let’s recap our time together today: lessons for business from burlesque.

Show up for people you wanna cultivate more relationships with, your clients, people you wanna deepen relationships with.

Take up space wherever you can. And by the way, part of taking up [00:24:00] space is your personal brand and appearance so that people notice that you’re there. Not a schlumpadinka ensemble that makes you wanna go to the background and not stand out. You want to take up space wherever you can.

The other thing we talked about is take the stage whenever you can. That’s doing announcements at a meeting. It’s welcoming people from the front of the room when there’s something going on. It’s hosting your own virtual event so that people see you and get to know you.

I hope you’ll join me again, for another episode, or if not we have 160-plus episodes recorded of our Expand Your Fempire podcast that you can listen to. And if you do a search for speaking or retreats or [00:25:00] sales or scaling, you will get all the podcasts on a hot topic that you wanna learn more about. You can do that at caterinarando.com, and then there you’ll see a link to my podcast.

I also host virtual free workshops every month. If you have not come to one, please join me for the next one. When you register, you also get the recording.

And you know what? I lost my Facebook account a couple years ago. I am rebuilding my Facebook friend list, and please send me a friend request. I’d love to get to know you and your business more. And I’m happy to connect with you. I’m happy to share some super tips with you

And if you really wanna uplift your business and your life, and expand your network, and bliss more in your business, join us for one of our amazing retreats. [00:26:00] We have a mastermind retreat called Amp Up for Women in Business on a Mission. I host three speaker mastermind retreats every year, part of a year-long program, and we also have every other year our retreat on how to do women’s retreats.

Remember, you’ve got massive value to bring. There’s a lifetime supply of people to serve.

Caterina Rando, sending you some love. Can’t wait to hear what you’re doing to uplift yourself in your life.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Expand Your Fempire with Caterina Rando.