Expand Your Fempire Podcast #26 Transcript

Three Areas to Amplify for More Business Bliss in 2021​

Welcome to Expand your Fempire with Caterina Rando, the podcast for women in business on a mission. Sharing ideas to support you to grow and thrive. Now here’s your host, Caterina Rando.

Caterina Rando: [00:00:00] Bing, bing, bing Happy New Year! 2021- a year that we hope will be so much better than this year that is just passed. I did an interview this morning with a friend of mine on her podcast. And it got me thinking about some of the things that I want to make sure that I’m doing and hopefully that you’re doing in 2021. I thought I would share some thoughts with you.

[00:00:57] Before the pandemic lifestyle, I remember one afternoon after I had been out at a women’s business meeting, I walked into a Lane Bryant store, actually an outlet store, to pick up a new brassiere, a new bra. And there was nobody in the store, just me and the two ladies that worked there.

[00:01:24] And we started chatting and we were visiting and I told the lady who was the manager, how lovely the store looked and what a great job she was doing when she was checking me out. I thanked her for her service. We had so much fun. And then she said to me, “Caterina”… because of course, I knew her name. She knew my name. Because, you know, I’m very big on names and I always ask people what their name is when I’m in a store, or at least I used to before the pandemic] lifestyle, when we actually went to stores.

[00:02:03] And she said to me, “Caterina here, pick a pair of earrings from this box.” And she opened this big box of jewelry. There must have been 50 pairs of earrings and a few necklaces in this box. And she said to me, “Caterina, because you’ve been such a great customer, here, pick something from the box.” And apparently, this was all jewelry that they had taken out of the store for whatever reason, it was not going to be sold.

[00:02:39] And of course I picked a pair of earrings. I said thank you a thousand times. I expressed my gratitude. I told her how kind she was for her gracious gesture. And then I said, “You know what? I’m taking some ladies on a cruise in a couple of weeks. Do you have any low-cost items like this? Or could I have these items or purchase some of these items at a very low cost to use as a prize for something?”

[00:03:11] And she looked at me and, in that moment, she said to me, “Here, take the whole box.” And I was floored. She had given me really about 50 pieces – earrings, there were necklaces, this was gorgeous stuff. This was not, you know, bottom barrel, low basement stuff. This was VIP gorgeous jewelry.

[00:03:42] And of course I was grateful. And as I left the store with my massive amount of loot, I thought to myself, “Why did she give me all this stuff?” And the reason I came to the conclusion that she gave me this huge gift was because she had felt seen and acknowledged by me. And we had a good time, that too.

[00:04:16] And I’m sharing that with you because as we bring in the new year, I want to talk with you about how to have more bliss, more ease, more joy, more vitality, more awesomeness in your life and your business for next year. I put together for today’s conversation, three things I want to talk to you about.

Area #1 to Amplify

[00:04:41] And the first one is that I want to invite you to pick a heart skill that you want to amplify. Now, by the way, I believe that heart skills are a big part of your personal and professional success. And my favorite heart skill, you probably know, is acknowledgement. Now I’m going to come back to acknowledgement.

[00:05:08] But other heart skills: being a good listener, being kind, being gracious, being warm, asking people how they’re doing, and actually listening. This is a huge heart skill.

[00:05:21] You know what heart skill in 2020 I chose to amplify? I said to myself, “You know what, I’m already good at putting people together. I’m already good at introducing people to what they need and who can do it for them. And I’m going to be even better at that this year.”

[00:05:41] Let me tell you something. Not only did I have more attention on doing that this past year and did it, but you know what else I just noticed the other day? Because I’m getting ready to pay my Q4 commissions for the fourth quarter. I’m going to send out more commission checks than ever before. Meaning more people connected me with somebody they thought I could serve. Isn’t that interesting?

[00:06:08] Now I didn’t choose connecting because I thought, “Hey, it’s going to bring more business to me.” But apparently, it did. Because as I connect more people with more people that they can serve and be served by, huh, somehow it came back to me! That’s pretty awesome and amazing.

[00:06:33] And what I’m saying to you is… Not that this is scientific research, I guess it’s antidotal research. But if it’s antidotal truth, the truth is whatever you put out I guess it does come back.

[00:06:51] Kindness, warmth, graciousness, generosity. And by the way, generosity is my other favorite heart skill and generosity is not just money. It is money. And I do have a policy. If a client says, “Hey, I’m doing this thing. Will you make a contribution?” Absolutely, I do. Even if it’s not under my philanthropy umbrella of women and girl’s education and entrepreneurship. Because it’s standard operating procedure in my business to be a yes when a client asks for a contribution to a charity that they care about.

[00:07:33] Now I’m saying this to you because generosity is, of course, making contributions and it is money and it is looking at whatever you need, can you get it from your clients? Meaning you spend your dollars with your clients first, before you spend it with people that don’t have a personal relationship or business relationship with you. But it’s also generosity is also being a good listener. And taking time to talk to people.

[00:08:02] Generosity is generous with your compliments and your acknowledgements. Generosity is connecting and putting people together. Generosity is sending somebody, something you think that they would like. Be it a physical, something in the mail or a link to something or a resource you think they would appreciate. Generosity is giving people access to something that you have, maybe some content, maybe a person that you think could help them. Generosity is a great heart skill for you to amplify in this new year.

[00:08:45] Acknowledgement is the other heart skill I invite you to amplify. You pick a heart skill, but these are a couple of my favorites. Now, you know, if you’ve ever heard me talk about acknowledgement, that acknowledgement is not a compliment telling people how beautiful they look, et cetera. Now we love that, right? I always appreciate a good compliment. Thank you so much.

[00:09:08] Acknowledgement is different. An acknowledgement is about something someone does or about how they’re being. But I’m going to tell you how I like to do it, which I feel has people really feel seen and gotten. And in this time of pandemic lifestyle, the more we can have people feel seen and gotten, the better it is for all of us. And the more we warm their heart, because we’re not connecting as much as before.

[00:09:40] Here’s the thing. You can thank someone for what they’ve done. I could say to my friend, Terry this morning, I could say, “Terry, thank you for hosting me on your podcast.” Great. Thank you for what she’s done. And that’s fine. That’s a “doing” acknowledgement. But that’s, that’s like basic. That’s beginner.

[00:10:00] I can say, “Terry, thank you so much for hosting me on your podcast. And I so appreciate your enthusiasm in having me join you.” Not just for what she did, but now how she’s being while she’s doing it, right? Love that. That’s better. That’s the 2.0.

[00:10:21] But now let’s talk about the piece de resistance. Let’s talk about the ultimate acknowledgement. I could say, “Terry, thank you for having me. I so appreciate your enthusiasm. And you inspired me to do a Facebook live on what we talked about because you are so passionate about what you did that, I want to bring that passion through even more today.” Not just what she did, not just how she’s being while she’s doing it, but how it impacted me.

[00:10:56] And that’s the thing, my friends, don’t forget to share how someone has impacted you or inspired you. And as a result of that bing, bing, bing, you are going to watch people light up like a Christmas tree. Because now they feel not only acknowledged, they feel gotten, they feel super acknowledged.

[00:11:24] I’m inviting you so that you can have more bliss and joy in your life next year, to up your acknowledgment, to up your generosity, and identify other heart skills that you want to amplify because this will bring you more bliss because the more people feel seen and gotten and acknowledged and, and loved and cared for by you, the more it will come back to you. That’s what I want for you.

Area #2 to Amplify

[00:12:05] Next thing, we all have values by which we run our life and we run our business. And I’m sure you have that already because you’re super smart. And I want to invite you at this time to review the values by which you run your life and your business.

[00:12:26] And by the way, I make no distinction between brand attributes and personal values, because I believe that our business and our life are congruent if we’re living an authentic life. And we bring our whole self to our business, therefore the values by which we run our life are the same values by which we run our business. And I’m hoping that you would say that about you.

[00:12:56] Here’s the values by which I run my life and my business. Integrity. Generosity. Love. Genuine caring. Providing massive value. These are not only business values, they’re personal values. And the other one two more, but I’m going to give you one first, that I think is significant that I invite you to embrace more in your own life is community. Community.

Of all the things that impact happiness… the biggest factor in happiness is having personal connections. – Caterina Rando

[00:13:30] Now here’s what I do know, research-wise. Of all the things that impact happiness – being married or not married, having kids or not having kids, having a career you love, or not having a career you love, the biggest factor in happiness is having personal connections. Genuine personal connections. And that’s [00:14:00] what community is. And I invite you to cultivate community more in your business and your life.

[00:14:08] Now you say “Caterina, how do I do that living in my pandemic lifestyle?” Zoom is a great place for community. In fact, I probably have more community in my life these days than before.

[00:14:23] Cause I’m doing dance Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. I’m doing Zumba with other ladies and world dance. I’m doing yoga with Andrea on Thursdays and Saturdays. I’m doing yoga with Priyanka on Sundays. That’s all community. Walking with Carla Frank and her walking group. That’s community.

[00:14:47] Community can look any way you want. You can be around interests. It can be around geographic something. Anastasia Schuster has her book club. Whatever it is, be with people virtually because we can’t be with a lot of people right now live and in-person.

[00:15:09] Cultivate community in your life. Access the many existing community opportunities or start your own community opportunity. When the pandemic started, I got together with ladies for tea every afternoon. That was super fun. Excuse me, not every afternoon. About once every two weeks we got together for afternoon tea. Had a great time. I’m not currently doing that, but feel free to invite me to a tea party. I’d love to go to afternoon tea.

[00:15:44] And then Tracy Tighe and Debbie Campbell, they’ve been hosting blingo events where you get together and you play like blingo bingo with bling as surprises. Whatever it is, be with people.

[00:15:59] Now I’m going to tell you something. I’ve heard from many women during this pandemic. “Oh, well, I really value the time alone.” Yes, my friend. I know you’re having lots of time alone. At the same time do not discount the power of community. And to have more bliss in your life next year, I want to invite you to cultivate more community in your life.

[00:16:27] Now, by the way, I have a Facebook group. I love my Facebook group. Yes, cultivate online communities. Also though, make sure you’re seeing smiles in the squares on the screen in some Zoom communities. And cultivate and start your own. And bring all of these heart skills that we’ve discussed, bring those to your community as well. Because one of the great things to support you in cultivating community is to make sure everybody feels seen, welcome, acknowledged, valued, cared for, included in the community.

[00:17:12] We’ll have to save that topic for a whole ‘nother day because I love to cultivate community and I invite you to study and become a student of mastering cultivating community in the new year.

[00:17:27] And in fact, one of the things you probably heard me say is that I only want you to do in your business and your life, those things that you seek to master. Maybe in your life, it’s a little bit different cause we want to be trying new things. But in your business, don’t be doing those things that you don’t seek to master. That is another thing that will bring you more bliss.

[00:17:48] What do I mean by that? I mean, if you don’t want to master video editing, what are you editing videos for? If you don’t want to master Canva graphic making, [00:18:00] what are you fooling around with that for? There’s people who have whole businesses around this who will not take very much of your money, your dollars to do it for you. And this is going to eliminate a lot of frustration. And then you’re freed up to do those things that you really do have to master, which is the speaking, the selling, serving your clients, the strategy, and the self-care.

[00:18:28] And I’m going to say one more thing. This is more specifically for business. One of the things that I’m doing in my business, and in my community this next year is really focusing on supporting my community in mastering strategy. Because strategy is decision-making. And I see so many women that I want to support them in doing better at making decisions.

[00:18:57] Sherry, I am blissing that you have hired your first VA. Hopefully, she’s the first hire of many more hires because you have massive value to bring. And the more you get those things off your plate that are not the highest and best use of your time, not only the more revenues can come in your business, but also the more you’re going to bliss because it’s those things that you’re not supposed to be doing anyway, that bring you frustration in your business.

[00:19:29] Okay. What have we talked about so far? We’ve talked about amplifying your heart skills. We’ve talked about cultivating community in your business and your life. We have also talked about upping your acknowledgement, having generosity as one of your values, also reviewing the values by which you want to run your business on your life and upgrading them as we move into the next year.

Area #3 to Amplify

[00:19:58] And then identifying also, here’s my next thing for you, pick a theme for this new year that you want to have permeate the whole year. My theme for 2021 is I am blissing in my body, in my business, and my whole life. That’s my theme.

[00:20:22] Because you’ve probably heard me say that one of the five pillars of building a Fempire is self-care. And I’m going to tell you something. Last week I woke up, my side of my arm, left side I’m left-handed, my whole left arm was numb, and it was pretty significantly numb, and I took my blood pressure and I thought, “Oh no, did I just have a stroke or a heart attack?”

[00:20:54] Because you know, women present very differently when they have situations come up like this. And so, I called One Medical, which I’m part of One Medical. They have somebody on staff. I talked to a doctor. I told her what my blood pressure was. I told her what happened. You know what she said to me? She said, “Caterina, that is a symptom of carpal tunnel.”

[00:21:18] Well, I had just spent the day before writing my new year’s cards. I sent out about 250 new year’s cards and I wrote the person’s name. And I wrote, “may this be your best year yet” on every single one. So, then she told me to get a brace. She told me to ice it, which I did. I woke up the next day. It was a little bit numb, but not very much.

[00:21:44] Here’s the thing. I don’t want to have any heart challenges. I don’t even want to have carpal tunnel. I don’t want any challenges with my vitality. So, I am even more committed to blissing in my body, slimming down, getting a good night’s [sleep, doing all those things that I know support my self-care. And that’s what I’m hoping for you. Because the more self-care you do, the more you’re going to bliss too.

[00:22:12] I got one more thing though, that I want to talk to you about related to self-care and related to blissing more in your life. About when I was, I guess, it’s about 20 years ago.  I was going to the Black and White ball in San Francisco. That was a big fundraiser that they do. They don’t do it anymore, but it was a big fundraiser for, I think the Opera House. And I bought this dress, black and white. I loved it so much. I loved the dress. I put the dress on the night of the event and the truth is that I felt like the ugliest fattest mama on the planet.

[00:23:01] And I went to this event, which if you’ve ever been to the Black and White Ball, those of you who’ve been around San Francisco, they shut down all the public buildings they use. So, City Hall, the Opera House, the Symphony Hall it’s like all around in the middle of the city. They light it up. They have entertainment everywhere. We saw the Village People were performing. I mean, a lot of amazing performers, like big names.

The truth is I did not have a good time that night. Well, my date stressed me, that was part of it. But mostly because I didn’t feel beautiful. I felt ugly. And I’m so sad today, as I look at that picture, which I just found a few weeks ago and I had to put it in a frame, and I had to put it in my house because we are our own worst critic.

[00:24:00] I’ll speak for myself. I used to be my own worst critic. And I want to share with you that one of the heart skills that I want to invite you to embrace as we move into this new year, that is going to have a lot of challenges because we’re not out of the woods yet. I want to invite you to be more compassionate with yourself, and I want to invite you to be more compassionate with those around you.

[00:24:35] And I want to invite you, I usually say it this way, to be your own best success coach. I want to be more specific though. I want you to be your own best encourager. I want you to be your own best cheerleader. And I want you to be someone who lifts yourself up instead of puts yourself down. And I invite you to look at loving yourself.

[00:25:05] And I know you love yourself. I remember years ago, people would say to me, “Oh, Caterina, you need to love yourself more.” And that would kind of upset me because I do love myself. I know you love yourself. Let’s, though, be more loving with ourselves.

[00:25:24] And what does that mean to you? And I want to invite you to ask yourself that question. What would it mean? What does it mean to you to be even more compassionate, even more loving with yourself? And I’m going to give you a few potential answers, even though, you know, I’m not sure everyone who’s listening and watching, I’m going to give you a few potential answers.

[00:25:49] Let go of having to get everything right.

[00:25:54] Let go of pursuing perfection.

[00:25:58] And let go of being afraid of not making the right decision.

[00:26:05] Because you are super smart. And you have massive capacity. And there’s always the option of making the decision right. Did you hear that? Because one of the things I really see that stops women from moving forward and growing their businesses and having more bliss in their businesses or their life is this fear of making the wrong decision.

[00:26:35] And you know what? That stops you, especially when you got to talk to every Mary, Jane, and Sheila, and do 50 weeks of research before you act.

Because when you don’t make a decision, you’re not only pushing off the revenue, you’re pushing off your mastery at whatever it is that you’re pursuing. -Caterina Rando

[00:26:46] Because when you don’t make a decision, you’re not only pushing off the revenue, you’re pushing off your mastery at whatever it is that you’re pursuing. And really, we’ve got to get to mastery on all this stuff. So, the more you ruminate to make a decision, the more nothing is happening.

[00:27:10] And I’m inviting you to be compassionate with yourself. To know that, “Hey, if I don’t make the right decision, it’s okay. It’s okay. I can make the decision right.”

[00:27:26] What does it look like? I’m asking you right now to reflect in your life. You already love yourself; I know that. What does being loving toward yourself look like for you?

[00:27:41] For me, as I said, I am going to focus on being even more compassionate with myself this year. I’ve put things in place to support me. I told you I’ve got my different classes that I’m doing. I’m doing circuit class with Karen Hoffman, virtually Tuesdays and Thursdays, come and join us. Great class. I told you my dance schedule, my walking schedule, my yoga schedule. Okay? You know why?

[00:28:14] Because for me, being in community, doing fitness in community really works for me. And if you don’t know if it works for you, come and try it. It’s the same thing in your business. I thrive in community. You know I have a coach. I’m a Diamond Polka Dot member. I love community for business advancement. And I’m hoping that you do too.

[00:28:41] By the way, if you haven’t checked out my new year’s resources, I just sent out today to everybody on my list. Our daily inspiration card. It’s a card that I produced for the whole year, but you read it every day. It’s got great things on it. I’ll post it on my Facebook page and in my group very soon if it’s not there already.

[00:29:03] And also my Get Your Goals Workbook that you can also get if you’re on my list. Please make sure that you’re on the list so that you get that. If you’re not sending me a direct message, that’s free for my VIPs. We’re selling it, but it’s free for you, if you are on my list.

[00:29:23] Have resources that you love. Have communities that you love that you know support you to thrive. Because I have found that there is no greater gift to bring bliss in your life than being a part of a community of like-minded, like-hearted women on a mission.

[00:29:44] And if you are not a part of our Thriving Women in Business Community, not just our Facebook group, our community. Please look at my website, come to one of our events. We have a free event coming up in a few days. We have very low-cost workshops.

[00:30:01] I’m here to support you to thrive and bliss in your business and your life because here’s what I know about you. You have a massive, massive, massive value to bring. And I believe one of the fastest paths to bliss in business and life is being of service and seeing the impact of your service.

[00:30:29] And I’m hoping that you’re not getting ready to get ready to begin to think about getting going because if you are, you’re pushing off your bliss, cause you’re never going to see the impact of your amazing work.

[00:30:45] My friends, I’m inviting you to cultivate your own community, connect with me for community and let’s recap what we’ve discussed. Amplify your heart skills. Pick heart skills to amplify in next year. Pick a theme for 2021, review the values by which you want to run your business and your life, and cultivate more community in your life personally and in your business.

[00:31:13] If you do this, I know you are going to be blissing more. Can’t wait to talk to you. Can’t wait to support you. Love to you bing bing bing!

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Expand Your Fempire with Caterina Rando.