Expand Your Fempire Podcast #53 Transcript

The Business Side of Sexy with Jen Jolicoeur

Welcome to Expand your Fempire with Caterina Rando, the podcast for women in business on a mission. Sharing ideas to support you to grow and thrive. Now here’s your host, Caterina Rando.

[00:00:25] Welcome back to the Expand Your Fempire podcast. This is Caterina Rando, and I am blissing because today I have one of my favorite gals on the planet as our guest, the amazing Jen Jolicoeur. Jen is the founder of Athena’s Home Novelties. We’ll tell you all about that. Jen, thank you so much for being here.

[00:00:56] Jennifer Jolicoeur: [00:00:56] Caterina, I love seeing your face, I love being with you. Thank you for asking me. It’s really an honor.

[00:01:03] Caterina Rando: [00:01:03] Yay. Well, Jen, we’ve known each other for many years now. I don’t even know how many years. I want to say maybe 15. I don’t know. I’m guessing.

[00:01:12] Jennifer Jolicoeur: [00:01:12] I was going to say two decades, Caterina.

[00:01:15] Caterina Rando: [00:01:15] Wow! Okay. Well, might be, might be. We met at a direct selling conference for women. You are the founder of this amazing direct selling company. I have had the privilege of speaking to your Goddesses and Adoni a few times, if not several times over the years.

[00:01:34] Before we get into everything that we have to talk about, I want to ask you to share a little bit about first, how you became an entrepreneur. And then I want to know what made you start a direct sales company, which is not just becoming an entrepreneur, but that’s starting really big.

[00:01:57] Jennifer Jolicoeur: [00:01:57] Well, as far as becoming an entrepreneur, it’s not something that I ever set out to do. It just happened organically.  I went to a home party and my girlfriends all nudged me and said, Jen, you’d be great at this. You’d be great at this. And I thought about it and said, you know, I really think I could bring some value to people.

[00:02:20] And I decided to sign up and then the company went out of business. And again, all my, my team said, Jen, please we’ll follow you. Start something and we’ll follow you.

[00:02:32] So I really didn’t set out to become an entrepreneur, I just kind of fell into that role. And since then I just embraced it and it’s who I’ve become, you know, a leader, which is not something I ever really saw myself as. But through the years I really developed my leadership skills by going to direct sales conferences. That’s where I got to meet you and Patricia Fripp and Marsha Wieder and Jack Canfield. And all of you have led me to this point in my journey. So thank you for all you’ve done for me.

[00:03:02] Caterina Rando: [00:03:02] Oh, well, Jen, thank you. You inspire me every time I’m in the room with you.

[00:03:07]Now for people that are not familiar with Athena’s Home Novelties, let’s tell them what kind of direct selling company it is.

[00:03:14] Jennifer Jolicoeur: [00:03:14] So we are a romance company, which means we encourage and inspire people to maximize their pleasure in life. Unfortunately, most women are raised with some pretty heavy anti- pleasure messages. You think about  the way the media plays female sexuality, you know, it’s always hyped up “Wow look at all these sexy women,” but like, don’t be too sexy or we’re going to call yousome really derogatory names.

[00:03:42]I knew from a very young age that something was wrong with sex education. I felt that it wasn’t telling the full story about the potential of sex. That they were basically scaring you saying, you know, “pregnancy, STDs, pregnancy, STDs,” and nobody says a word about pleasure.

[00:04:02] And I think that a lot of women take  that fear and the shame and the guilt into their adult lives and have a struggle with embracing their body and feeling comfortable in their body and feeling comfortable to express themselves sexually.

And I think that a lot of women take  that fear and the shame and the guilt into their adult lives and have a struggle with embracing their body and feeling comfortable in their body and feeling comfortable to express themselves sexually. – Jen Jolicoeur

[00:04:17] So I felt that at a very young age. And when I had the opportunity to step into this direct sales company and start teaching people about pleasure and making it normal and making people feel comfortable, that I really found my purpose in life. And so Athena’s is the company that I started  23 years ago, April 1st. And I feel so proud of how far we’ve come.

[00:04:45] When I first started, Caterina, the city of Woonsocket where I was born and raised did not want me there. They wanted to kick me out, tell me “this is not welcome here,” but I fought really, really hard to gain acceptance from the community.

[00:05:02] And, on our 23rd anniversary, I was surprised when the mayor of my hometown walks through the door with a parade of people.  Led by the mayor, the city council, and the autumn Fest steering committee, and they named me the Grand Marshall of our big fall festival.

[00:05:23] So from the girl they tried to run out of town, I’m going to get to lead our hometown parade and talk about full circle. Like, just finally gaining the acceptance that I worked so hard for.

[00:05:36] Our parties are so fun, Caterina. People coming to our parties and they learn about sex. We pass lotions around. We pass toys around. We explain how to use them and how they can benefit your life. We also have great self-care and spa products. So that’s what we do. And, I wanted to just give you some perspective as to how far we’ve come in 23 years.

[00:05:59] Caterina Rando: [00:05:59] Beautiful. Now, Jen, I want to back up a little bit because everybody that meets you, you light up every room you’re in. You are such a beam of positivity and beauty and femininity. I’m sure that that the city council, as soon as they met you, they fell in love with you. I’m guessing though. It wasn’t just that. I’m guessing that, as an employer, cause I know you have a lot of people that work for you in your company. And of course, you have many, many consultants for hundreds, thousands. I don’t know how many, you can tell us. Many of them of course, are in your home state and in the community where you do business. I’m sure you’ve had a lot of impact on your community too, that that’s probably part of the reason they made you the Grand Marshall, too. Tell us, how has your company impacted the community that you do business in?

[00:06:58] Jennifer Jolicoeur: [00:06:58] Well,  when the mayor came into the office, she called me an unsung hero in our community and said that, you know, “you’ve donated to so many charities, there’s too many to even name.” And I really wanted to give back to my community. I’m a hometown girl. I love my town. And, you know, I’ve donated to every cause from getting milk to the elderly during inclement weather, to the adopt a family for presents for the underprivileged kids in my community. To the Boy Scouts and the Girl Scouts and the high schools were trying to put on a play and they don’t have enough money for costumes. To high school students who want to go to Rwanda and donate their time to help build schools. I’ve donated to every single cause that has come my way.

[00:07:45] And besides that impact, being able to do a cancer fundraiser or someone’s house burns down, those types of things, I’ve always been 100% invested in when people ask.

[00:07:56] But beyond that, you know, I have employees who live in my community, who now have health insurance, who have a steady income and a job that they love and enjoy coming to. And also there’s the fact that I’ve been able to persevere through so many things and traumas and obstacles that I think I’ve been able to set an example for a lot of other business owners. And when they’re having challenges, they reach out and say, “Hey, can I have your ear for a minute, you know, I’m going through this? What do you think?”

[00:08:27] So I also support all the local businesses, go out to dinner here, go out to lunch there, rent out a hall in my hometown for Goddesses to come to for an event.

[00:08:38] But the last piece that I love is that I brought a lot of business to my community. So when Goddesses come for a training, 150 people will come. And when I rent out the stadium theater, 300 Goddesses will come from all over the country and they stay in the local hotel and they go to the local restaurants and they gas up their cars at our gas stations.

[00:09:01]So I’ve been able to boost the economy of my hometown, which is kind of a rundown mill town, and they really appreciate that. 

So I’ve been able to boost the economy of my hometown, which is kind of a rundown mill town, and they really appreciate that. – Jen Jolicoeur

[00:09:10] I was honored by the North Rhode Island Council for Economics and they had this wonderful dinner in my honor and I got to speak and, they said, “Thank you. Thank you for bringing people  to our community.”

[00:09:22]So you know, I’ve been able to, to reach out and touch the community in a lot of different ways.

[00:09:26]Caterina Rando: [00:09:26] That’s so beautiful, Jen. Now, Jen, I’m going to tell you that, when I came to your town last time, I was there to speak to your fabulous Goddesses and Adoni, I was really touched by their stories.

[00:09:43] Many are moms, either single moms or moms with a partner, and because of your business and their business, as part of your organization, they have been able to raise their kids, take their families on vacation, super uplift their economic situation.

[00:10:08] And as much as I’m sure it feels great to give money to the kids that go to Rwanda and you know, all the other things you mentioned, I want to hear from you how is it for you when you see… because you know, I know that you said that you’re in the romance business, but really I feel that you’re in the women empowerment business or the family empowerment business, clearly in the community empowerment business. And that you have done more than just do business.

[00:10:41]Jennifer Jolicoeur: People say to me all the time, “Jen, I know you’ve heard this a million times, but I want to tell you how you changed my life. You must be so sick of hearing it.” And I am never sick of hearing it. Just this morning, a Goddess reached out to me and said, “I want you to know something. I’m a single mom with four children. My husband is deceased and I struggle. And I was able to do parties and raise enough money to take my 18-year-old to the Bronx Zoo, which was what he wanted. And I was able to do that because of this opportunity.” And you know, my heart just explodes.

[00:11:17] We’ve had goddesses and Adoni put themselves through school and now they’re nurses and x-ray techs and teachers, and they’re no longer part of Athena’s because we were part of their journey.  They came in, they need the money to go to school, they pay for their education, and now they’re doing great things in the world. And it feels so good to be someone who can do that for others, to give them a stepping stone and opportunity to what’s next.

[00:11:43] As well as, I mean, I’ve had people that worked for me for 20, 22 years of the 23 years we’ve been in business, who have stayed with us all this time because they might’ve joined just to raise the money, to get divorced from their husband and then they needed the money to get an apartment, and then they needed the money to buy their first house. And then they, you know, worked for the money to take their kids to Disney and have been with me all this time, because they’ve just been able to truly support their lives and their joy with this business.

[00:12:14] And to make money doing something you love and that’s meaningful and you know makes an impact on people is so fulfilling. So for me, yes, the orgasms and the pleasure part of the business makes my heart sing. But knowing that there are thousands and thousands of people who have joined my company, you know, we’ve had over 14,000 people join in 23 years, Caterina, that’s a lot of lives.

[00:12:40] Caterina Rando: Wow. Yeah.

[00:12:41] Jennifer Jolicoeur: People come and go, Caterina, but there are people who stay and I think everyone’s changed like forever from being with Athena’s.

[00:12:49] Caterina Rando: You know, Jen, I often say that our businesses allow us to uplift other people’s lives. And you are such a blaring example of that. And I am so honored to have watched you over the years. And one of the things I would say that I have seen with you is this persistence and this, No matter what the challenges are, you are going to keep persisting and obviously, your track record of 23 years indicates that.

[00:13:25] Will you say a little bit, Jen, because when you started, I’m sure that all your friends who said “you do it, Jen, and we’ll follow you.” I’m sure they saw you as a leader.

[00:13:35] What are some of the leadership qualities? Persistence obviously is one. What are some of the leadership qualities that you either had that you had to cultivate more? Or you simply said I’m not really this way, but I know I have to be this way to make my company grow? What are your thoughts?

[00:13:52]Jennifer Jolicoeur: [00:13:52] Well, I, I can tell you that I struggled in math that I really did not have a strong foothold with math at all. I was a seventies math kind of girl, summer school girl. And that was one of my biggest struggles was, when you own a company, you really need to be able to look at trends and percentages. And, you know, that was something that I really struggled to learn, but it’s something that I figured out and I did. And, you know, I didn’t let it stop me from being a great business owner. So I think that the willingness to learn more and recognize my weaknesses and turn them into strengths was a big part of my journey.

[00:14:32] The other thing that is really important as a leader is to be willing to listen, and not think you know everything cause that’s a huge mistake. So listen to people, learn, find as many opportunities to learn and grow as you can.

The other thing that is really important as a leader is to be willing to listen, and not think you know everything cause that’s a huge mistake. So listen to people, learn, find as many opportunities to learn and grow as you can. -Jen Jolicoeur

[00:14:48] Even though sometimes that’s hard to do as a business owner because you wear many hats when you own a business. There’s so much going on. And you need to still fill your own cup.

[00:14:59] That is what’s really important for someone who’s a leader to know is that you can’t fill  other people’s cups when yours is empty. So it’s really important to find ways to fill your cup.

[00:15:10] Like with people like you. The fact that I went to that direct sales event and the DSWA and got to meet you was just one of those great moments where it’s like, I’m meant to meet you. I’m meant to learn from you and that’s what I’ve done. And I’m so grateful for that. So I would say that those are the attributes that I think a great leader needs.

[00:15:32] Caterina Rando: [00:15:32] Well, thank you, Jen. And those are only a couple I think that you have. One of the other things that I have observed with you, Jen, is that you have an amazing culture that you’ve cultivated in your organization. And I remember way back when, when I realized that, you know, I wanted to teach my stuff and then I realized, “oh, there’s this community of ladies around me.” And then I started to consciously curate my community.

[00:16:04] I’m wondering if you have consciously -and you are so good at community building- you have consciously curated it, or was it natural for you? Say a little bit about it because your culture of love and inclusion and being welcoming and fun and positivity- these are how I would describe your culture. And then you can say more about how you would describe your culture, but was it intentional? Say a little bit about that.

[00:16:32] Jennifer Jolicoeur: [00:16:32] So, part of my recognizing that there was something very wrong with sex education and the inequality of the bedroom made me look to women, like “what can I call a woman to empower her?” And that’s when I came up with the word Goddess. I’m going to call the women who work for me a goddess.

[00:16:54] Because when you think about a goddess, what do you think about? Power, beautiful, strong, I mean, and when you call someone a goddess, you put that on your business card: goddess. I mean, that is something else.

[00:17:08]And that is the culture. It’s like, “come into this business and we will call you a goddess.” And I think that, you know, we’ve had like shy women come in and we’ve had women who have been beaten down by an abusive ex or  everybody has a story. And at Athena’s they can come and look around and go, “There’s all different kinds of people here. And I can be my unique self and, fit in here and be accepted here and thrive here and find my place here and rise here.” and that is a big part of our culture.

[00:17:41] And I’m constantly recognizing people, Caterina, constantly.  I will sit and personally spend a whole day, just Facebooking, individually Facebooking a hundred people, 150 people and saying, “thank you, congratulations on what you’ve achieved.”

[00:17:58] And, I’m in tune with people. Like I know that their child is sick. I know that their husband had a stroke. I really get so close to my people, as close as I can, because they’re my people and I’m their person, you know, we pass that back and forth. So the culture becomes very supportive. So I feel like when I’m supportive, they see me being supportive of someone, everybody wants to swoop in and be supportive of that person who’s struggling. That’s definitely a big part of our culture.

[00:18:29]Obviously, we’re, like-minded in the fact that the people that join Athena’s obviously believe that they want to make sex education more accessible and more normalized and help women enjoy their sex lives. But the other side of that is you found your people, the people who also feel that way, and you can be among them and have these friendships that startup. These groups of people just uplifting each other and supporting each other.  And that’s definitely the culture.

[00:18:58] I mean, we’ve had a Goddess whose three-year-old got leukemia. And that little girl, Ellie was our baby, you know, like we all made her our baby and we all cheered for the mom and dad. Like, “you can do this, you can get through this.” And when that baby passed away, I mean, people drove for miles and miles, three States away to be at that wake, to be present, to help that family through. That’s a big part of our culture is really being there for one another. And being strong powerful Goddesses. We call the men Adoni, who are inclusive.

[00:19:33] We were the first company to say that we had parties for gay people and that we allowed men in. Cause if we don’t allow the men in to learn about female sexuality, how would they ever going to learn? Who teaches them? Nobody. 

[00:19:49] So we allow men to come in and we have gay men that work for us who were bullied and felt bad about themselves, who suddenly come into this company and they’re just embraced and loved for their fabulousness. I’m really proud of that.

[00:20:01] I’m really proud that there’s every body type.  Sometimes people go, “I could never be a goddess.  I’m not sexy.”  Whatever they think about their body, you know, “I’m too old. I’m too big. I’m too skinny. Whatever their insecurity is, they come to Athena’s and we go, “You’re great just the way you are. And you can make a huge difference. You can contribute your gifts here.”

Whatever their insecurity is, they come to Athena’s and we go, “You’re great just the way you are. And you can make a huge difference. You can contribute your gifts here.” -Jen Jolicoeur

[00:20:22] And,  I think when people come to a big Athena’s meeting and they see you on the stage talking and giving them this great information and this inspiring talk, and then I give away a $10,000 prize here, and a $5,000 prize here, and people get on stage and jump up and down and scream because they just won this trip to London or whatever it was that I was giving away. You know, it’s all life-changing stuff and people sit in the audience and they can think one of two things: “I can do that. I can get there.” Or they can say, “Uh, I dunno, maybe not.” And the person next to them will go, “yes you can, you can do it too!”

[00:21:00]Caterina Rando: [00:21:00] Yes! And I’ve seen that. I’ve seen the jumping up and down. I’ve seen the, “you can do it.” it’s not just hype or motivation. It is the truth. It is. And, you know, because some of your Goddesses talk to me on Facebook and I’ve had ladies say to me,  “thank you for coming and, you prompted me to do this. And when you came, I was prompted to follow my dream to be a speaker,” one lady said to me. And the support that comes is so significant.

[00:21:31] Jen, you know, I don’t know if you remember that day that I was with you last time. And we had a lady in the room that had suffered a family tragedy. As the speaker at the moment, you know, I put my speaker hat aside and put on my counselor hat. And the part that impacted me the most was that it was unexpected that she shared that and the whole room came and supported her with hugs and kind words. And then there was, I think about $900 that was raised from that small group. I mean, it wasn’t a big group to help her family because that was part of what they were sharing is that they didn’t have money to bury the person who had passed away.

[00:22:25] And that is what community is… when you, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t, you know, it doesn’t matter what it is. If somebody needs help, you’re helping. And all of the Goddesses and Adoni in the room that did that, that helped in however they stepped up, that was because of you. Because you are such a great model of leadership and philanthropy in business, Jen.

[00:22:52] And you know, I like to tell ladies, “don’t wait until your white-haired and retiring to be a philanthropist.” That wherever you are in your business, and I’m sure that your goddesses throughout the country and Adoni are contributing to their communities because of the model that you have been.

[00:23:18] Because it’s not like a little bit, this is standard operating procedure for you. I love that. And I love what you said about sending Facebook messages, because I love to do that too.  I don’t send emails. I send Facebook messages because it is more personal and you have a great ability to make everyone feel seen, heard, valued, cared for, included, welcomed, that they know that they matter.

[00:23:50] And you know, I always like to talk about this. A lot of people don’t quite get it. I think not only do you get it, it is naturally who you are and still you make it standard operating procedure.

[00:24:03]Jennifer Jolicoeur: [00:24:03] Yeah. You know, when you said that it’s who I am,  I didn’t really know that. As a young girl, it just it evolved and came out of me, you know?

[00:24:12]And I attribute a lot of who I am to my grandparents. Both my parents worked two jobs when I was growing up. I was a latchkey kid and my grandparents gave me so much love and so much kindness and, and time, you know. Like when your parents both work, they don’t have a lot of time because they’re both working two jobs to have a house and buy a car and all those things. But grandparents can pay attention to you and give you that love and reassurance.

[00:24:41] And I try to give the people who need me and work for me, the love that my grandparents gave me.  Like that really listening to someone, really caring, really taking the time to get to know them and what they’re going through.

[00:24:57] And, things aren’t always perfect. You know, I have people get upset about who knows what, you know, their order got lost or, there’s always little things that come up and I try not to get angry back. I try to be like, “Okay, you know, I understand you’re upset and we can, on the other side of this, be so much stronger. So let’s focus on that. Let’s get through this and get to there.” And, and people go, “Oh, okay.”

[00:25:23] Cause I think even with conflict, people struggle to manage conflict because how were you raised? Did people just yell? Did they get nasty right away? Did they go for the throat? Or do they take the time to be calm and work through conflict?

[00:25:36] And,  I try really, really hard cause it’s all, Caterina, the company is mostly women. Everybody has their baggage, everybody has their story. Everybody has their struggles. And  I try really, really hard to come from a place of like a grandparent, like, “I see you, I hear you. And you know, how can we make this better? And how can we make this right?” Rather than just like, Oh, you know, brushing you off. I’m so busy. You know what I mean? Grandparent love.

[00:26:04] Caterina Rando: [00:26:04] That’s beautiful. Well, Jen, I like to say “don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. Wear your heart all over your business.” I think you are such a great example of wearing your heart all over your business and having it be standard operating procedure. That this is how we do it. We do it with love and caring and kindness. My hope is that more businesswomen, and businessmen as well, will embrace their heart all over their business because you have done such an amazing job.

[00:26:43] Not only helping women and men improve their financial lives, but also impacting the communities that they live in and bringing more joy and bliss and pleasure to their lives.

[00:26:59] Wonderful. Jen, any final thoughts? This time flew by and, we’ll have to do it again another time down the road, because I’m so grateful to have you here. Any final thoughts for the ladies before we wrap up our time?

[00:27:13]Jennifer Jolicoeur: I think that it’s really important for everybody to know that you can make any dream that you have come true if you believe in it enough. And that’s something that I learned from you, Caterina. 

[00:27:24] That was one of the things that you were talking about when I met you, was making your dreams come true. And you had wanted to go on a cruise and you had the picture of the cruise boat. And talked about that. And, and I think that’s where my heart connected to you because I’m that way too. Like, you know, let’s manifest these big, huge things in our lives. Let’s not think small and stay small. Like how can we grow? How can we expand? How can we touch as many lives and make a difference and make people happy?

[00:27:52] And, you know, that’s what you do. I’m so grateful that you asked me to be part of your podcast. And I hope that all of your listeners just go big, and do everything that you teach them. The bing, bing, bings, and the loud and proud, and all the things that you teach are so valuable and so valid for me.

[00:28:09] And you’ve given me so many great memories and great tidbits to carry throughout my life and super tips that live in my heart, so thank you.

[00:28:18] And to your community. I’m just so grateful to be part of this. And I hope that you all go out and do great things in your lives and lead the way for people to feel happier and more fulfilled in their lives.

[00:28:32] Caterina Rando: Jen, thank you so much. Thank you so much for your kind words and your warm words. Now, a lot of people that are listening, there might be a few if not some, who have not heard of Athena’s and they may be interested in taking a look at all of the amazing products Athena’s has to offer. They may want to connect with an Athena’s Goddess or Adoni in their local area.

[00:29:00] They may want to host a  romance party. Oh my God. That sounds like so much fun. Our listeners may want to host a romance party. Let’s advise them, how do they connect with you and the company? They may want to become a goddess. Go ahead.

[00:29:16] Jennifer Jolicoeur: Well, it’s really easy to find me. If you type into Google search Athena’s Home Novelties it’s going to take you to all of the places, right?  We’re on Instagram, Athena’s Home Novelties. We’re on the web, athenashn.com. We’re on Facebook. So you can definitely find us if you type in Athena’s Home Novelties.

[00:29:34] And Caterina, I’d love to do a special. Anyone who places an order on our website, on the Athena’s website, and puts CATERINA in the comments, we’ll include some free goodies for your community.

[00:29:48]Caterina Rando: Bing, bing, bing! Wonderful! Jen, thank you so much for being with us today. Listeners, we can all use more pleasure in our lives and our businesses.

[00:30:00] Be like Jen, wear your heart all over your business. Be persistent. Bring that personal touch that she brings so well. Embrace your community. Have impact in your community. And most importantly, look at how you can uplift more lives.

[00:30:20] Thank you, everybody. This is Caterina Rando. Can’t wait to be with you again for another episode of Expand Your Fempire podcast. Make sure you’re connected to us in our Thriving Women in Business Facebook group. Our club, Thriving Women in Biz on Clubhouse, Instagram, everywhere. Can’t wait to support you any way we can. Thanks, everybody, until next time.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Expand Your Fempire with Caterina Rando.